Many today feel that attention spans are becoming shorter due to the prevalence of social media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#attention #prevalence #media

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this

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modern era, there is an increment in using social communication. At

this

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time, many commentators believe that the prevalence of social sites is that they

are

Verb problem

have

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less attention spans in any work. I will throw some light on

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notion. I will support my stand with pertinent arguments in upcoming paragraphs and

thus

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will lead to a logical conclusion at

last

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. To commence with, The main reason behind

this

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Correct word choice

that

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compared to the present there

was

Wrong verb form

are

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limited sources of entertainment

such

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as television, radio and many more,

while

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there is a lot of enjoyment from the public network.

Additionally

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, the usage of social media to available lots of opportunities for jobs and self-study but there is the wrong usage by people.

For instance

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, an application like Instagram is specifically designed to provide a stream of addictive videos under 10 seconds in length.

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, when a person does their work and

got

Wrong verb form

gets

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the message to divert their mind to another thing.

For example

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, As a person

that

Correct pronoun usage

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has happened to me many times when I do work , time someone messages me and I open to see

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then

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I open social networking sites for some moment of fun and I don't know how much time passed.

On the contrary

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, There are benefits of using social networks

such

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as getting a job and pupils doing self-study.

In addition

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to that, in today's world competition is increasing day by day because of that we should learn new things every day and it is available on social media in short videos so citizens learn easily and quickly. To recapitulate, I will pen down saying that, I agree social media has caused the average person to struggle with concentration for extended periods

due to

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the manner.

Submitted by gauravkalathiya123 on Tue Apr 25 2023

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task response

The introduction lacks a clear thesis statement. It also needs improvement in terms of coherence and cohesion. The body paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and supporting details. The essay does not effectively address the prompt, as it does not fully explore the extent to which the prevalence of social media affects attention spans. There is limited development of ideas and examples. The essay needs to provide a more balanced argument and explore counterpoints to strengthen the response.

coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear logical structure and coherence. The ideas are not well-connected, leading to a lack of flow in the essay. There is a need to use linking words more effectively to connect ideas and create a cohesive structure. Additionally, the conclusion does not effectively summarize the key points and does not provide closure to the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

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Many today feel that attention spans are becoming shorter due to the prevalence of social media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

some people think increasing the cost of fuel is the best way to solve global problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?

ITELS Writing Task 2 Model Answer: Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?