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Band 6.5

Many scientists believe that seeking out life by sending messages into space is a good idea while others feel that it is dangerous. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#scientists #life #messages #space #idea
Scientists
 have different views about attempts to communicate with space, some of them think it's preferable,
while
 others are pessimistic about it. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both perspectives and share my opinion. On the one hand,
scientists
 who support sending messages to space believe that it enhances our scientific knowledge.
While
 exploring other
civilisations
, we have the opportunity to learn more about biology, evolution, and what's necessary for life.
Therefore
, it could provide us with insights into how life on
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
 evolved and whether similar processes occur
elsewhere
 in the universe.
For example
, in the Atacama Desert in Chile, one of the driest places on Earth,
scientists
 have found bacteria that can survive with very little water.
This
 helps us understand how life might survive on arid planets like Mars.
This
 method is beneficial because it helps us understand our planet through exploring space.
On the other hand
, other
scientists
 don't recommend
this
 because the intentions of other
civilisations
 are unknown. We have no way of knowing the intentions or nature of extraterrestrial
civilisations
 that may receive our
massages
Correct your spelling
messages
show examples
. They could be friendly, natural, or hostile.
Therefore
, contacting a civilisation with hostile intentions could pose a significant risk to humanity. To illustrate, physicist Stephen Hawking cautioned against actively reaching out to extraterrestrial civilizations. He compared potential contact with aliens to the arrival of Europeans in the Americas, which had devastating consequences for the indigenous populations. In conclusion,
although
 the unknown nature of different
civilisations
 is risky, I believe that reaching out
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 extraterrestrial
civilisations
 is necessary and beneficial for our knowledge and advancement.
Submitted by Ayreen🍒 on

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task achievement
Consider expanding the essay with additional examples or points to further substantiate your arguments. This can add depth and make your points more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repetitiveness in your language. Introducing more varied vocabulary and sentence structures will make the essay more engaging.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a clear and logical structure with a well-defined introduction, body, and conclusion. This aids in readability and ensures that the argument develops logically.
task achievement
You have given a complete response to the topic, addressing both sides of the argument and providing a clear opinion on the matter.
task achievement
The use of relevant and specific examples, like the Atacama Desert bacteria and Stephen Hawking's caution, strengthens your arguments and demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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