Many students like to get involved in extra- curricular activities at university such as social clubs and sports. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
Nowadays, there are too many students who tend to play several different kinds of
sports
activities in schools and universities which might present both advantages and disadvantages. In this
assey
, I will mention the effects of these habits supported by real-life examples based on my life experience.
Research has found that individuals have become more intelligent and creative when they combine both Correct your spelling
essay
sports
and science. For instance
, lifting weights and football will increase cognitive mental health so dramatically. Therefore
, students will encourage them selves
to do better in school and boost their marks by getting high results. Correct your spelling
themselves
Furthermore
, It’s a significant path to communicate and engage with other people by creating a new cycle of friends. This
will show more sources of education methods supported by sports
activities. In addition
, an enormous type of sports
activities like cardio will make people look fit and shape, which will build self-confidence.
On the other hand
, these sports
might have the same disadvantages like destruction and consuming individual time which will lower the quality of the education and classes. The fundamental reason for that is
weak management and procrastination will lead to issues such
as failing and dropping out of university. For example
, basketball players in the USE specifically in NBA clubs, players tend to play twice a day and most of them are kicked out. That’s why the homeless and unemployed have increased in the past few days.
In conclusion, one should balance their life and one must compromise between study and athletics. However
, it is a double
sword edge and Correct word choice
double-edged
seeking
the benefits with the least damage.Wrong verb form
seeks
Submitted by khaleefalkhalaf on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Relevance and clarity of examples
Make sure your examples directly relate to the points you're discussing and are more clearly connected to the overall topic. Your essay would benefit from more specific and directly relevant examples, especially in discussing the disadvantages of sports activities.
Transitions and argument development
Work on developing a clearer thread of argument throughout your essay. While the structure of the essay is generally good, there are moments where the transition between ideas can be smoothed out for better coherence.
Accuracy of information
Mind the accuracy in presenting facts or statements. It's important to ensure that the information you're providing, especially when referring to statistics or specific outcomes (e.g., the connection between sports and unemployment), is accurate and relevant to your argument.
Structure
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your essay.
Balanced argumentation
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view on the advantages and disadvantages of students engaging in extracurricular sports activities.
Use of personal examples
You made good attempts to support your points with examples from personal experience, which adds a nice personal touch to your essay.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...