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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think this can have negative effects on children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#amount #children #people #effects
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Over the
last
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 decades, there have been immense advances in advertisement business and most of them have attempted to get
children
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's attention. It is believed by some that it has been influenced negatively to them by advertising companies.
However
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, each coin has two sides. In
this
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 essay, I will explain why it should not be let them announce
products
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 in front of them. First of all, in the modern world, advertising companies' goals are obvious
which
Correct word choice
and
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 have been chosen to get
children
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's attention easily. It is clearly seen that
children
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 have been affected in a wrong way by
this
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 kind of company. For ,example when they are going to a store
specially
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especially
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 for
children
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's toy side, there are placed lots of
products
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such
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 as cars, dolls and other interesting stuff. These sorts of
products
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specially
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are specially
show examples
 and logically located on Youtube channels when they are watching their movie or any type of cartoon they are easily look at them, and
then
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 of course they are going to require to buy them. In
this
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 situation, parents are really fed up with all advertisements. Some researches show that a number of parents proceed to have complained about all these companies.
Secondly
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, in my point of view, it
also
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 has a lot of useful sides which are so imperative.
For instance
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, many of them use advertisements perfectly in a good term where they have declared in journals or on the internet in order to buy new books and new student equipment
as well as
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 they introduce their technological
products
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 that in
this
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 day and age, many students use plenty of tablets at school.
To conclude
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, it illustrates that advertising has
also
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 a positive
effect
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besides
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 a negative
effect
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,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
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however
Add a comma
,however
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 it is going to impact in a wrong way when lots of people tend to buy all stuff for their
children
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.
To conclude
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, it illustrates that advertising has
also
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 a positive
effect
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besides
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 a negative
effect
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,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
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however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 it is going to impact in a wrong way when lots of people tend to buy all stuff for their
children
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by sadiqlisara95 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Targeted advertising
  • Psychological development
  • Artificial needs
  • Unhealthy eating habits
  • Materialism
  • Consumerism
  • Parental responsibility
  • Critical thinking
  • Informative content
  • Economic implications
  • Revenue generation
  • Content creation
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