IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some feel that individuals should have the right to strike in all jobs while others feel there are exceptions. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#feel #individuals #right #strike #jobs #exceptions
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The
right
 to
strike
 is a contentious issue, with few arguing that individuals should have the unrestricted
right
 to
strike
 in all jobs,
while
 others contend that there should be exceptions. Both views have compelling arguments yet I believe the
right
 to
strike
 should generally be protected
while
 considering certain exceptions. On one hand, proponents of the
right
 to
strike
 in all jobs emphasize the importance of protecting workers’ rights and ensuring their collective bargaining power. In brief, it upholds the principles of freedom of association and expression, enabling teams to collectively exercise their democratic rights. The successful strikes of factory employees in Bangladesh in 2013,
for instance
, led to improved safety regulations and working conditions in the garment industry, profiting numerous people.
On the other hand
, opponents argue that strikes in certain jobs should be exempted
due to
 their critical nature. Elaborating on
this
, public safety and essential services,
such
 as healthcare, emergency services, and transportation, require uninterrupted operation for the well-being and security of society.
For example
, a
strike
 by air traffic controllers could lead to flight cancellations, stranded passengers, or even compromising emergency response in case of an incident. In my opinion, granting all job holders the
right
 to
strike
 fosters a more equitable and inclusive society. With appropriate safeguards and regulations in place,
such
 as requiring advance notice or alternative arrangements for critical services, the potential risks and disruptions can be mitigated. In conclusion, despite the
right
 to
strike
 in all work fields is justifiable, a few critical fields should be taken into account;
however
, I concur constructing a common ground for both approaches is valid
while
 negotiating or adopting alternative dispute resolution methods to help reconcile the
right
 to
strike
 with the critical needs of certain fields.
Submitted by ashissarker18 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that ideas are presented in a logical structure with clear paragraphing and progression from one idea to the next.
Coherence and Cohesion
Include a clear introduction and conclusion paragraph, each serving its purpose adequately; the introduction to set the scene, and the conclusion to summarize the main points and restate the writer's opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Support main ideas with specific examples or reasons to strengthen the argument and enhance the persuasiveness of the essay.
Task Achievement
Fully address the prompt, ensuring that both viewpoints and your own opinion are discussed thoroughly.
Task Achievement
Present ideas comprehensively, offering a nuanced discussion that covers the complexities of the issue at hand.
Task Achievement
Use specific examples that are fully developed and relevant to the argument to substantiate your claims.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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