Nowadays a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think this can have negative effects on children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Over the
last
decades, there have been immense
advanes
Correct your spelling
advances
in advertisement business and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most of them have
attempt
Change the verb form
attempted
show examples
to get
children
's attention. It is
blieved
Correct your spelling
believed
by some that it has
influenced
Add a missing verb
been influenced
show examples
negatively to them by
advertisement
Replace the word
advertising
show examples
companies.
However
, each coin has two sides. In
this
essey
Correct your spelling
essay
, I will explain why it should not be let them announce
products
in front of them. First of all, in
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
world,
advertisement
Replace the word
advertising
show examples
companies's
Remove the s
companies'
show examples
goals
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
obvios
Correct your spelling
obvious
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
which have been
choosing
Wrong verb form
chosen
show examples
to get
children
's attention easily. It is clearly
seem
Correct your spelling
seen
show examples
that
children
have been affected in a wrong way by
this
kind of company.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
when they are going to
store
Correct article usage
the store
show examples
specially
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
toy side, there are placed lots of
products
such
as
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
,
doll
Fix the agreement mistake
dolls
show examples
and other interesting stuff. These
sort
Fix the agreement mistake
sorts
show examples
of
products
specially and logically
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
located
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Youtube
channel
Fix the agreement mistake
channels
show examples
when they are watching their movie or any type of
cartoons
Fix the agreement mistake
cartoon
show examples
they are easily look at them,
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
of course they are going to require to buy
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. In
this
situation, parents
really
Add a missing verb
are really
show examples
fed up
all
Change preposition
with all
show examples
advertisements. Some researches show that a number of
parent
Change to a plural noun
parents
show examples
proceed to have complained
all
Change preposition
about all
show examples
these companies.
Secondly
, in my point of view, it
also
has a lot of useful sides which are so imperative.
For instance
, many of them use advertisements perfectly in a good term where they have declared in journals or
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the internet in order to buy new books and new student
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
as well as
they introduce their
tecnological
Correct your spelling
technological
products
that in
this
day and age, many
student
Change to a plural noun
students
show examples
use
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
plenty of tablets at school.
To conclude
, it illustrates that advertising has
also
a positive
affect
Correct your spelling
effect
show examples
besides
a negative effect,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
it is going to impact in a wrong way when lots of people tend to buy all
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
their
children
.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Targeted advertising
  • Psychological development
  • Artificial needs
  • Unhealthy eating habits
  • Materialism
  • Consumerism
  • Parental responsibility
  • Critical thinking
  • Informative content
  • Economic implications
  • Revenue generation
  • Content creation
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