IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

People who have original ideas are of much greater value to society than those who are simply able to copy the ideas of others well. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #value #society #copy
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In recent years, there have been vast advances in all aspects of people's lives especially in the field of communication. Nowadays, an increasing number of people
use
images
 as tools to transfer their messages faster and more effectively. These changes have brought a special concern regarding the efficacy of
this
 kind of communication. In
this
 essay, I am going to write about
this
 issue and give my personal idea. Obviously,
images
, pictures and, graphs have the potential to send a certain message immediately.
For example
, the media
use
images
 to give detailed information and immediate impact on their news coverage. The advertising industries
also
,
use
 eye-catching videos and pictures to attract
peopleattention
Correct your spelling
people attention
 and persuade them to spend on whatever they offer.
Moreover
, the vast impact of the photos on the entertainment industries is undeniable too.
On the other hand
,
due to
 the widespread
use
 of modern mobile phones taking and sending photos is becoming a part of regular personal conversation.
However
, pictures are not strong enough to be used as a single tool for communication.
This
 is because they can interpreted in a range of different ways.
This
 means that
images
 can be misleading and less effective if used alone.
Therefore
, captions, subtitles, comments and, any other kind of written or spoken words are essential to be used
along with
 the visual attractions to ensure the effectiveness.
To conclude
, based on what is discussed above, using visual attractions alone is not powerful enough and they should be used
along with
 written or spoken words.
Submitted by bryan.dasco on

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Introduction Clarity
Ensure your introduction directly addresses the question or statement posed. Your introduction sets the stage but doesn't directly respond to the provided statement about the value of original ideas versus copying others.
Task Response
To strengthen your task response, explicitly state your agreement or disagreement with the statement at the beginning, and summarize your stance in the conclusion for a clearer position.
Example Relevance
Add more specific examples to support your points for a stronger argument and enhanced task achievement. Real-world or hypothetical examples add depth and clarity.
Cohesive Devices
Maintain coherence by ensuring a clear logical progression from one paragraph to the next. Use cohesive devices such as linking words but avoid over-reliance on them.
Paragraph Structure
For improved clarity and cohesion, vary your sentence structures and ensure paragraphs focus on a single main idea, linking back to your overall argument.
Example Use
Your essay effectively uses examples to illustrate points about the role and limitations of visual communication.
Essay Structure
The overall structure of your essay, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, helps in organizing your thoughts and presenting them clearly.
Vocabulary Use
You have a good use of vocabulary that is appropriate for the topic, enhancing the quality of your argument and engagement with the reader.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Innovation
  • Creativity
  • Intellectual property
  • Economic growth
  • Cultural evolution
  • Adaptation
  • Diverse perspectives
  • Historical impact
  • Education systems
  • Rote learning
  • Critically evaluate
  • Status quo
  • Foster
  • Imitation
  • Dissemination
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