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Band 6

Many countries believe that international tourism has harmful effects. Why do they think so? What can be done to change their views?

#countries #tourism #effects #change
Human beings living in contemporary society tend to think that global
tourism
 may
render
Verb problem
have
show examples
 many adverse influences. Their thoughts may come from various reasons, and they might
also
 be changed by using numerous solutions. There is a large number of rationales why international
tourism
 seems to be deleterious. First and foremost,
tourism
 development would have a great impact on social security. Nowadays, many criminals tend to employ international
tourism
 to escape from their government, which may help them avoid being served custodial sentences. Another reason for
this
 phenomenon is that global
tourism
 could influence the national inherent panoramas. No one can deny that it would be incredibly difficult to monitor a vast number of tourists every day, so some severe exacerbations are inevitable.
Last
 but not least, international
tourism
 might give rise to a polluted climate.
For example
, if tourists want to hang out, they usually go by cars or motorbikes which create a large amount of exhausted emissions contributing to escalating air pollution.
This
 phenomenon may be dealt with by employing the following solutions.
To begin
 with, national authorities could establish some new policies for
tourism
. To illustrate, in Bhutan, if foreign residents come, they have to pay a fee called a
tourism
 fee which may be utilized to preserve the natural heritage sites.
This
 new policy of Bhutan not only assists
to enhance
Change preposition
in enhancing
show examples
 local construction but
also
 curbs the figure for tourists annually, which contributes to the peace of
this
 country.
Furthermore
, raising human awareness of preventing environmental destruction is
also
 crucial. Many local authorities and educational institutions should organize some campaigns to help inhabitants clearly understand the detrimental effects of environmental pollution and instil their sense of protecting the environment, especially adolescents. In conclusion,
although
tourism
 improvement may cause multiple negative impacts, there are numerous efficient ways to minimize
this
 trend.
Submitted by trancaomaitrang on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and serve their purpose. However, the logical structure of the essay could be improved by organizing the ideas more coherently.
task response
The essay provides a complete response to the task, but there is room for improvement in presenting clearer and more comprehensive ideas. It would benefit from providing more specific and relevant examples to support the arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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