Shopping is the favorite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be encouraged to do some other useful activities?
Issues related to leisure activities are frequently discussed these days. It is true that the majority of Gen Y and Gen Z spend their free time shopping, especially in online applications. In
this
essay, there could be several reasons for this
, and I will provide further
explanations and examples to support my viewpoint.
As for the first question, in my opinion, the key that makes shopping favourable is the emotion after going out. In other words
, purchasing something helps reduce life tension from hard work or other duties in crowded areas. For instance
, there is research from Chulalongkorn University has shown that our body releases Endorphins when we purchase and use the products selected by them. For
this
reason, shopping has become the mainstream of hobbies among teenagers.
Nevertheless
, with regard to the second question, many people consider it just a waste of money lifestyle which is not going to bring any benefits. Despite the criticism from others, I contend that shopping is pretty relaxing stuff based on my satisfaction while
doing it, and also
keeps me away from numerous mental illnesses such
as depression. Moreover
, we can combine other lifestyles with shopping by selecting products that are related to our preferences and actions. For example
, there are many sports clothing brands in the market such
as Nike, Adidas, Umbro, and so on, they can create a positive trend to influence people to go out to exercise. However
, shopping plays a crucial role in our society, individuals should pay attention to assessing their personal income to avoid financial problems.
All things considered, I am of the opinion that shopping helps enhance our quality and lift up our emotions. Therefore
, unnecessary purchasing will definitely bring negative impacts such
as money and time. Thus
, I think shopping is beneficial as long as it goes in the right balance.Submitted by nyentdn on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
To enhance task response, provide more varied and detailed examples to support your points. For example, cite multiple studies or different perspectives to add depth to your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring that each paragraph clearly relates to your main argument. Make sure your reasons for why shopping is favored and why alternative activities might be beneficial are more distinct.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure transitions between paragraphs are smooth to maintain the logical flow of the essay. Introduce linking phrases like 'Additionally,' 'Furthermore,' or 'On the other hand,' to guide the reader.
task response
The introduction clearly outlines two questions to be addressed, making the essay's focus clear from the beginning.
task response
The essay effectively discusses both the reasons why young people enjoy shopping and whether they should be encouraged to pursue other activities.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, which helps in understanding the main idea of each section.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a balanced viewpoint on the issue.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!