Shopping is the favorite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be encouraged to do some other useful activities?

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Issues related to leisure activities are frequently discussed these days. It is true that the majority of Gen Y and Gen Z spend their free time shopping, especially in online applications. In

this

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essay, there could be several reasons for

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, and I will provide

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explanations and examples to support my viewpoint. As for the first question, in my opinion, the key that makes shopping favourable is the emotion after going out.

In other words

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, purchasing something helps reduce life tension from hard work or other duties in crowded areas.

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, there is research from Chulalongkorn University has shown that our body releases Endorphins when we purchase and use the products selected by them.

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this

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reason, shopping has become the mainstream of hobbies among teenagers.

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, with regard to the second question, many people consider it just a waste of money lifestyle which is not going to bring any benefits. Despite the criticism from others, I contend that shopping is pretty relaxing stuff based on my satisfaction

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doing it, and

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keeps me away from numerous mental illnesses

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as depression.

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, we can combine other lifestyles with shopping by selecting products that are related to our preferences and actions.

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, there are many sports clothing brands in the market

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as Nike, Adidas, Umbro, and so on, they can create a positive trend to influence people to go out to exercise.

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, shopping plays a crucial role in our society, individuals should pay attention to assessing their personal income to avoid financial problems. All things considered, I am of the opinion that shopping helps enhance our quality and lift up our emotions.

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, unnecessary purchasing will definitely bring negative impacts

such

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as money and time.

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, I think shopping is beneficial as long as it goes in the right balance.

nyentdnTue Jul 16 2024

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task response

To enhance task response, provide more varied and detailed examples to support your points. For example, cite multiple studies or different perspectives to add depth to your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Improve coherence by ensuring that each paragraph clearly relates to your main argument. Make sure your reasons for why shopping is favored and why alternative activities might be beneficial are more distinct.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure transitions between paragraphs are smooth to maintain the logical flow of the essay. Introduce linking phrases like 'Additionally,' 'Furthermore,' or 'On the other hand,' to guide the reader.

task response

The introduction clearly outlines two questions to be addressed, making the essay's focus clear from the beginning.

task response

The essay effectively discusses both the reasons why young people enjoy shopping and whether they should be encouraged to pursue other activities.

coherence and cohesion

Each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, which helps in understanding the main idea of each section.

coherence and cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a balanced viewpoint on the issue.

14
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
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Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

306 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pastime
encouraged
useful activities
self-expression
creativity
sense of accomplishment
satisfaction
social interaction
bonding
escaping
daily routine
stress
instant gratification
pleasure
keeping up
trends
fashion
exploring
products
experiences
boosting
self-confidence
supporting
local businesses
economy
discovering
personal style
preferences

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Shopping is the favorite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be encouraged to do some other useful activities?

Some people think that we should invent a new language for international communication. Will the benefits of this outweigh the problems associated it?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that every human being can create art (e.g. poetry, music, paintings). Other people think art can only be created by people born with a special ability. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views! What is your own opinion?

Governments should focus their spending on public services rather than on the art (e.g. Music and painting). To what extent do you agree or disagree?