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Band 5

Nowadays because of digital technology, it is possible for not only studios but also individuals to produce their own films. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#technology #studios #individuals #films #development
In these
Change preposition
These
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 days,
Technology
 has been developing sharply so individuals create their own movies without studios. In my opinion, it is
brilliant
Add an article
a brilliant
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 development for films because it is
easier
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an easier
show examples
 way to make a film. I will mention that both sides
that
is
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are
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 about positive or negative.
To begin
 with, myriad producers can be produced films
due to
 there
are
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 a lot of new digital
technology
 that can help them to make it more realistic
in
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apply
show examples
these days,
For example
, the most famous are interested in
artificial
Add an article
an artificial
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 world in order to act significantly because of the most of
people
 keen on unusual things but it has bad effect for individuals
for instance
, it makes
people
 believe the artificial world especially for children
due to
 there are a lot of
magics
Correct your spelling
magic
show examples
 and some kind of powers .
On the other hand
, there are a variety of positive effects
such
 as motivation, knowledge and meaning. In my opinion, if
people
 watch
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 movie that was made by digital
technology
, they can gain
a knowledge
Remove the article
knowledge
a piece of knowledge
show examples
 and meaning so it can improve their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
.
In addition
, new
technology
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
 can be assisted for
an
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apply
show examples
animation which can
against
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be against
show examples
addict
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addicts
show examples
 because
people
 get to
addict
Wrong verb form
addicted
show examples
fake
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to fake
show examples
lifestyle
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lifestyles
show examples
 from
baddly
Correct your spelling
badly
 developed movies.
To sum up
, digital
technology
 should be
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
improved because
film makers
Correct your spelling
film-makers
show examples
 can not make a movie
as
Change preposition
in
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 real life so some
people
 believe that artificial things but some of them provide
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
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affect
Correct your spelling
effect
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 society. In my opinion, it has
a more effective benefits
Correct the article-noun agreement
more effective benefits
a more effective benefit
show examples
 for individuals
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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