The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
The line chart illustrates the
number
of shop closures and openings during the
priod
Correct your spelling
period
of 2011 to 2018.
Overall
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the most of time,
instead
of starting additional
stores
, there were more
stores
closing over the 8 years.
To begin
with, in 2011, it seemed to be an awesome start with approximately 8,500 new shops
opened
Wrong verb form
opening
show examples
and only 6,500 closed.
However
,
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
2012 to 2014, the
number
of shop closures
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
much more than openings.
Thus
, the total
number
of
stores
went down
at
Change preposition
during
show examples
that period. Even though more shops were open and less than 1,000 were closed in 2015, that brought minor helps to
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
commercial market. In 2016, about 5,100
stores
were closed and it
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
remained stable for the next 2 years.
On the contrary
, merely 4000 shops were open in 2016, and the
number
even declined as time passed by. Especially in 2018, it reached
lowest
Correct pronoun usage
its lowest
show examples
point at only 3000.
Submitted by james801004 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, stores with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • decline
  • surge
  • stabilize
  • correlation
  • economic conditions
  • consumer behavior
  • technological advancements
  • urban development
  • employment
  • retail sector
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