‘Children who have brothers and sisters often have better social development than an only child. The government should therefore give money to parents to have two or more children.’ What do you think about this proposal?

Having siblings has a more positive effect on

children

Use synonyms

than living alone without brothers and sisters to play with, as

this

Linking Words

enhances the

child

Use synonyms

's social

skills

Use synonyms

which are essential to their growth and development.

This

Linking Words

led the government to financially aid

parents

Use synonyms

to encourage and allows them to have additional

children

Use synonyms

. Personally, I believe that the proposal made people rethink their options since having an additional

child

Use synonyms

is a personal choice and should not be a form of bribery. On one

hand

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, growing up with more sibling contribute to the development of the social skill of one's

child

Use synonyms

While

Linking Words

living alone as an only

child

Use synonyms

leads to undeveloped social

skills

Use synonyms

, which means can lead to social isolation in the future.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

is not the case for all since a

child

Use synonyms

, who is exposed to school and friends, has as well developed social

skills

Use synonyms

Hence

Linking Words

playing and having friends around at school is a strong form of socialization.

On the other

Linking Words

hand

Use synonyms

, providing money to

parents

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to encourage them to birth another

child

Use synonyms

is intrusive. As I believed that having an additional

child

Use synonyms

is a choice that only couples are responsible for.

However

Linking Words

,the acts ensuing money deterring and crossing personal boundaries.

On the contrary

Linking Words

to the

parents

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who wish to have more ,

children

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this

Linking Words

would benefit them more. In Singapore,

for instance

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, the government works

hand

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hand

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with

parents

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who want more

children

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by incentivising and subsidising education and health for the next baby in the family, which is good as

this

Linking Words

promotes welfare for its people. In conclusion, it is advantageous to have more siblings as

this

Linking Words

ensures a well develop social

skills

Use synonyms

, which is essential to a

child

Use synonyms

's growth and development,

while

Linking Words

it does not make less for a

child

Use synonyms

living alone as long as they are exposed to the environment and not prevented to socialize. Albeit, I would argue that it is good for the government to provide money to wanting

parents

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but not the point of pushing them to produce one

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since pregnancy is a choice that should be decided by the couple.

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Apr 26, 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

347 words

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‘Children who have brothers and sisters often have better social development than an only child. The government should therefore give money to parents to have two or more children.’ What do you think about this proposal?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Schools should stop using books for teaching children as they find them boring and use films tv and computer instead. to what extent do you agree and disagree?

Children are experiencing increasing educational, social, and commercial pressures. what are the causes? what measures do you think can be taken to reduce them?

Increasing numbers of students are choosing to study abroad. To what extent does this trend benefit the students themselves and the countries involved? What are the drawbacks?