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Writing Samples
Band 5

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. what are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#year #school #university
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In
this
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 concurrent world, it is undoubtedly true that education plays a vital role in imparting knowledge to
students
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 in an efficient way. These days it's a common practice that
students
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 miss one
year
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 between schooling and college after a
year
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 off.
According to
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 reports many
students
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 do not return to their respective colleges after a
year
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 off. There is adequate evidence
on
Change preposition
for
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this
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 view which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 substantial. The top-notch concrete reason is
students
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 get time to develop many essential skills which will play a vital role in their
further
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 studies. Another pivotal aspect is it makes them self-reliant by working as a part-timer. They will be mentally prepared for their
further
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 studies and
keep them
Verb problem
will be
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 vigilant in their upcoming hurdles during university. Some
students
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 work as an intern or assistants which will help them to understand the market realities and requirements for effective services. Shifting towards the second school of thought,
students
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 tend to have poor performance in the early years of school. Brains will be inactive for a
while
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 and
students
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 will feel boredom to start their studies again. Youngsters are attracted towards different funds and excitement by doing jobs which will give them
handful
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a handful
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 of incentives. But
such
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 decisions will prove them wrong as they are ruining their bright future in gaining the handful amount. In recent reports,
such
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 practices lead them to join a bad gang and they are intrigued to take drugs and illegal substances. To culminate, I reiterate that there are plenty of strong factors supporting that
students
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 should take a
year
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 off after schooling if plans are followed wisely.
However
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 contrary cannot be overlooked either.
Submitted by jeetkacha13 on

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task response
The essay addresses the topic but could benefit from more specific examples and a clearer structure to improve the overall coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but the essay lacks a clear and well-organized logical structure. It would be beneficial to use more cohesive devices and transitions to improve the overall coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gap year
  • work experience
  • internships
  • traveling
  • life experiences
  • personal development
  • independent
  • self-reliant
  • educational progress
  • graduation timeline
  • financial burden
  • academic momentum
  • structured academic environment
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