Education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Instruction of young individuals is highly emphasised in many nations.
However
, some communities believe that tutoring adults
who do not have proficiency is even more vital, and governments should spend more funds on this
. In my opinion, I strongly disagree with the statement given, and I will elaborate on it in this
essay.
On the one hand, today, some nations have compulsory education so their youngsters can learn knowledge in school. Moreover
, when they back to their home, their caregivers can assist them so they learn more. However
, some families have inhospitable environments for children in which those people cannot learn reading and writing skills in their house. For example
, if their mother or father is an alcoholic, they cannot teach their offspring and some use violence to heat their scions, so they feel afraid to learn everything. As a result
, they do not have any bills, so we must spend funds on those young folks.
Furthermore
, the majority of adults
can get a job which can earn salaries, and it is not an illegal thing. But, in many countries, heirs cannot get a job because of the law. In addition
, numerous youngsters are influenced by adults
, so if they cannot receive cash from their government, they will lose their opportunity to learn literacy. For instance
, in South Korea, many old communities cannot write or read because, when they were young individuals, South Korea was at war, so they could not learn literacy. But when they become adults
, they can learn writing and reading skills. Therefore
, we must protect children from those environments.
In conclusion, I completely disagree with this
topic. Children who have bad guardians, cannot enough learn literacy. Conversely
, many adults
can learn those skills because they can get a job as well as
pay. So, we should spend money on those young people because they are precious people in our lives.Submitted by livewire53 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Would strongly recommend improving the logical structure of your arguments. While your essay introduces the topic and presents your opinion clearly, the ideas presented are not well ordered and there's a lack of coherence in the progression of your argument.
Task Achievement
You have done well in presenting your points and elaborating on them. However, your main points could have been more effectively supported through the use of coherent and logically consistent reasoning.
Task Achievement
While your essay encapsulates a clear response to the task and showcases an attempt at providing relevant examples, the examples provided could be strengthened through being more specific and realistic, and directly supporting your main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay introduces the topic and your argument well and concludes effectively. Continue doing this in your future essays.
Task Achievement
Your essay includes a full response to the prompt and you have taken a clear position throughout the essay. Good job on this, keep it up.
