Some people believe that it is a good idea that older people continue to work if it possible for them to do. Do you agree or disagree

The majority are of the opinion that elderly individuals should continue to be in employment so far as they have the ability. I strongly agree with
this
as it will provide them with continuous opportunities to relate with people in society and reduce the risk of
depression
. I will explain
this
further
with good examples and give a logical conclusion. Senior citizens should be allowed to keep their jobs if they are capable because rendering one or two services
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
about social interaction.
While
rendering a supply to someone,  adults communicate which brings about feedback, they can from there become best of friends.
For example
, the grandmother  found her new intimate friend whom she usually spends quality time with during her course of business,
hence
, rendering employment is beneficial.
Moreover
, being in utility
lower
Replace the word
lowers
show examples
the risk of
depression
among aged citizens. Elders are prone to
depression
due to
the process of ageing
as a result
of a decline in the activities of some hormones within human beings when they are inactive. When an elderly man or woman is busy with activity,there will be no room for loneliness  which can give rise to medical problems
such
as
depression
.
For example
, a  sixty-year-old lecturer was  noticed to be withdrawn after retirement, his children got a part-time lecturing job for him in a private university which gave him an opportunity to mix with people and he
came
Verb problem
became
show examples
happy again.
Thus
, it has proven that when elders are allowed to work, they are noticed to be become lively and overcome mental illness. In conclusion, I believe that taking part in a daily activity at a place of work if there is strength for  elders should continue because it helps them to continue to be involved in happenings around and the rate of  depressed citizens will reduce.
Submitted by oludayotemilade on

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coherence cohesion
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Provide more detailed examples to support your points and strengthen the argument.
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