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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph and chart below give information on the average daily maximum and minimum temperatures in degrees Celsius (°C) and the average number of days with rainfall each month for two Australian cities. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below.

The graph and chart below give information on the average daily maximum and minimum temperatures in degrees Celsius (°C) and the average number of days with rainfall each month for two Australian cities. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below.
#information #temperatures #degrees #celsius #°c #rainfall #month #two #australian #cities #report #university #lecturer
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The given graph and chart
presents
Wrong verb form
present
show examples
 data on the typical maximum and minimum daily temperatures in degrees Celsius (°C)
as well as
Linking Words
 the typical monthly number of rainy
days
Use synonyms
 for two Australian
cities
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that both graph and chart have fluctuated trends.
According to
Linking Words
 the data, there are
fluctuated
Wrong verb form
fluctuating
show examples
 figures in the average daily
temparatures
Correct your spelling
temperatures
temperature
 graph.
Brisbane
Use synonyms
 has the highest maximum
temparature
Correct your spelling
temperature
 in
January
Use synonyms
, at nearly 30 degrees Celsius, followed by
Canberra
Use synonyms
. The
temparatures
Correct your spelling
temperatures
 of all
cities
Use synonyms
 mostly drop down in
June
Use synonyms
. The minimum temperature of
Canberra
Use synonyms
 is nearly 0 degrees Celsius in
June
Use synonyms
, which is the lowest among all
cities
Use synonyms
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the temperatures in December of all
cities
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 nearly the temperature in
January
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the average number of
days
Use synonyms
 with rainfall in
Brisbane
Use synonyms
 fluctuates. There are 12
days
Use synonyms
 in
January
Use synonyms
 and slowly increases to 14 in February,
then
Linking Words
, slightly decreases to 7
days
Use synonyms
 from
June
Use synonyms
 to September.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the figures
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
Canberra
Use synonyms
 is as
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 as
Brisbane
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, it is clearly seen that
Canberra
Use synonyms
 has average
days
Use synonyms
 with rainfall lower than
Brisbane
Use synonyms
,
strating
Correct your spelling
starting
 at 7
days
Use synonyms
 in
January
Use synonyms
 and
increases
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 to 10
days
Use synonyms
 in
June
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
,
decreases
Wrong verb form
decreasing
show examples
 to 7
days
Use synonyms
 in December, as same as
Use synonyms
January
Change preposition
in January
show examples
.
Submitted by ksonaset on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words days, cities, brisbane, january, canberra, june with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreases" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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