Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

These days a lot of individuals use computers in every sector,
such
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as
kids
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using computers for playing video
games
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.
Additionally
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, playing computer
games
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for a long duration causes adverse effects on
children
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. Yet, there are solutions to reduce the negative effects. Playing
games
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would make youngsters feel lonely and can not socialize in real life,
for instance
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, my friend stares in front of the monitor to play video
games
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all day long, but he can not make friends in his class and feels lonely in school
due to
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his poor communication
skills
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.
Therefore
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, he is mentally unstable, because of his inadequate emotional management
skills
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.
Additionally
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, playing video
games
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would make
kids
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unable to focus in the classroom because they have a lack of sleep.
Similarly
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, lack of sleep causes many health problems,
such
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as obesity. So, sometimes
children
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with obesity can not learn properly in class.
However
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, the negative effects of playing
games
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can be solved with the role of
parents
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,
for instance
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,
parents
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could manage
kids
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' gaming time to improve
children
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's management time
skills
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and
parents
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can take
kids
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out of their room or house
for example
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the garden or sports academy to reduce their screen time and enhance their social
skills
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. So, these solutions would prevent
children
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from lack of communication and can strengthen their focus in class. In conclusion, computers have become important today and gaming is a new hobby for youngsters, which impacts their performance at school, social interactions and mental health.
In contrast
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,
parents
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can solve these issues with the right actions.

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task and provides insights into the negative impacts of video games and some solutions. It could improve with more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Consider providing a clearer structure for your paragraphs. Use topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph, which will enhance clarity and coherence.
coherence and cohesion
You have made a good effort in the conclusion, but try to restate your main points more clearly to reinforce your overall argument.
task achievement
You introduced the topic well and made a clear statement on the negative effects and potential solutions.
task achievement
The use of personal examples adds a relatable touch to your argument and helps illustrate your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • addiction
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • obesity
  • eye strain
  • inappropriate content
  • social skills
  • isolation
  • academic performance
  • time limits
  • parental supervision
  • age-appropriate
  • physical activities
  • digital literacy
  • balanced computer usage
  • excessive gaming
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