IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Topic: Some people think that cities are the best places to live. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a big city.

#topic #people #cities #places #city
Nowadays people are more inclined towards living in
city
 areas than living in rural.The reason for
this
 is that moving to a developed area has the benefits of better employment and education.
Although
 there are pros there are certain drawbacks like health issues.In
this
 ,essay I will discuss both aspects. The biggest advantage of living in a developed nation is you have a number of job opportunities and higher wages when compared to working in a small sector.
For example
,companies like Tesla,Infosys, and Google provide their
employers
Correct your spelling
employees
show examples
 with additional benefits and
hence
 make their working lives more flexible and comfortable.
In addition
 to the above , the Education system is more advanced in these areas and
hence
 children are benefited and exposed to the latest technologies.They become more confident and their communication skills are more enhanced which we cannot appreciate in a child being taught in a rural school.To illustrate,young individuals who studied in
city
 colleges and schools are well-settled and have advanced English speaking skills because they are taught using modern technology.
Although
 there are advantages of staying in
city
 life,there are certain drawbacks.Pollution is one important issue.As the majority of the population travels by car it creates pollution in the atmosphere and
as a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 individuals develop health issues like Asthma and allergies.
For instance
,it has been reported there is a rise in the number of asthmatics in developed nations because of the pollution from motor vehicles.
Moreover
,there is no natural air as forests are cut down to build buildings,so the greenery of the nation is lost.
To conclude
,
city
 life brings better income and jobs to individuals,but health issues and the lack of natural beauty of the motherland are lost in constructing large companies and homes.
Submitted by mudassir1219 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay provides a good structure overall, but there are some issues with the introduction and conclusion. Work on providing clear and concise opening and closing statements that summarize the main points.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and provides relevant examples to support the points. However, make sure to articulate the advantages and disadvantages more explicitly and provide a clear stance on the issue.

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