IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think the only purpose of prison is to punish crime. Others think it has other functions. Discuss the two views and give your opinion.

#people #purpose #prison #crime #functions #two
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Prisons
Use synonyms
 are thought to serve only for the punishment of
criminals
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, I am convinced that jail has other purposes
such
Linking Words
 as rehabilitation and public safety. It is thought that the sole aim of
prisons
Use synonyms
 is depriving of
criminals
Use synonyms
 their freedom.
Thus
Linking Words
, some people claim that
prisons
Use synonyms
 should not be comfortable and welcoming places. They argue that the experience of being incarcerated should be unpleasant and even traumatic, to serve as a punishment for their bad actions and as a form of justice for victims of crime.
As a result
Linking Words
, once suffered upon sentence, individuals who committed
crimes
Use synonyms
 feel guilty and regretful and
this
Linking Words
 makes them law-abiding citizens, let alone discourage them from repeating their inappropriate actions.
However
Linking Words
, by looking at the different perspectives, there are other functions of prisoning for
criminals
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
prisons
Use synonyms
 serve as a place for rehabilitation. In some cases,
prisons
Use synonyms
 provide education and job training.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they are claimed to help offenders to re-enter society as a productive citizen.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
prisons
Use synonyms
 provide public safety and the government uses them to protect the public from dangerous offenders. When violent and dangerous
criminals
Use synonyms
 are removed from society, they are prevented to commit
further
Linking Words
crimes
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, these have vital functions to lessen the rate of committing
crimes
Use synonyms
 in society and informing other segments of the population of the feasible repercussions of
crimes
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 some people argue that
prisons
Use synonyms
 serve as a punishment for committing
crimes
Use synonyms
, there are other purposes of prisoning
criminals
Use synonyms
 aimed at providing appropriate citizens to the community and saving the public from dangerous offenders.
As a result
Linking Words
, these lead to the reduction of
crimes
Use synonyms
 in public.
Submitted by mirazizalikulov on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: