Many people, especially young children, watch too much television. Some experts think that this can be dangerous, and that the time would be better spent doing other thing. What are the advantages and disadvantages of watching television?

#people #children #television #experts #time

In general, media provide entertainment and general knowledge and

also

provide news about the country's economy, sports, entertainment,

games

and so on. Many

people

are watching television for entertainment purposes and it became an addiction to it.

However

, Some

people

encountered that watching

programs

can cause

Change preposition

apply

show examples

other diseases.

This

essay will discuss the both advantages and disadvantages. The main benefits of

programs

are, especially, children gain

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

knowledge. A few young adults follow specific teaching classes, they might get benefits

instead

of reading a book.

Finally

, visual information is stored in the brain long term and they would not forget about the class.

In addition

to that, a popular online streaming application is Netflix, which designs

programs

specifically for the 5-10 age group.

For example

, a Mathematic

calucalation

Correct your spelling

calculation

program can improve a child's memory and they learn more simple technics.

On the other hand

, there are a few drawbacks are eye-related problems and obesity. Most

people

are watching

or play

games

for long hours, if they are watching the screen for a long time, the screen light may affect

Change preposition

apply

show examples

eye-related causes

such

as blurred vision and long sight.

Furthermore

, long periods of

watchig

Correct your spelling

watching

may lead to obesity.

For instance

, young adults playing video

games

for a longer time without having any physical activity raise

Correct article usage

the

show examples

risk of

overweight

Add a missing verb

being overweight

show examples

. In conclusion, Though there are some benefits are watching

programs

and playing

games

, it is good that

people

should spend some time on physical activities. In my opinion, long hours of watching

would not

advisable

Add a missing verb

be advisable

show examples

for children.

Submitted by swethareddy.cn on Fri Apr 28 2023

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people, especially young children, watch too much television. Some experts think that this can be dangerous, and that the time would be better spent doing other thing. What are the advantages and disadvantages of watching television?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some cities and towns all over the world, the high volume of traffic is a problem.What are the causes of this and wha actions can be taken to solve this problem?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative situation?

Some people believe that it is a good idea that older people continue to work if it is possible for them to do. Do you agree or disagree?

People believe that a number of children invest their time in using smartphones for hours in their daily basis. From my perspective, I strongly agree this will bring lots of negative development to children.