Write about the following topic. Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #people #art #children #school #waste #time

Unquestionably, every coin has two sides and so are the

people

. Society's

people

are divided into two groups and

therefore

art

subject

in academic curriculum has become a topic of debate among

people

This

essay will compare and contrast both of the opinions

along with

my opinion which is in the favour of former view will be discussed

along with

a sensible conclusion. Initiating with the points supporting the first school of thought,

Firstly

art

subject

is important at schools to excel students skill and interests. The

people

who support

this

say that we can teach the importance of arts to pupils if we include that as a

subject

Secondly

That is

the correct age to learn any new

art

and pursue that as a passion.

Moreover

, youth can relax with those arts as all other subjects are heavy.

For instance

, a study conducted in Hong Kong revealed that

art

classes motivated the youth to attend schools regularly. On the contrasting side,

people

who

held

Wrong verb form

hold

show examples

another viewpoint say that making

art

subject

as mandatory at schools is a waste of time because there are other subjects in demand now. They believe that the present world is moving fast and there are many new things to learn.

Moreover

, they are suggesting other subjects related to technology

such

as computer science, digital innovations and many more so that they can use that knowledge in future.

To conclude

, I would like to say that

art

subject

is important in many ways.

However

, it will depend upon the mindsets of

people

which view they are in favour of.

Submitted by janardhan.gangineni on Fri Apr 28 2023

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task response

For the task achievement criterion, the response is somewhat unclear in presenting comprehensive ideas and lacks relevant specific examples to support the arguments.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, the essay shows a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the essay lacks detailed support for the main points, so it is recommended to provide more specific examples and details.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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