Write about the following topic. Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Unquestionably, every coin has two sides and so are the
people
. Society's
people
are divided into two groups and
therefore
,
art
subject
in academic curriculum has become a topic of debate among
people
.
This
essay will compare and contrast both of the opinions
along with
my opinion which is in the favour of former view will be discussed
along with
a sensible conclusion. Initiating with the points supporting the first school of thought,
Firstly
,
art
subject
is important at schools to excel students skill and interests. The
people
who support
this
say that we can teach the importance of arts to pupils if we include that as a
subject
.
Secondly
,
That is
the correct age to learn any new
art
and pursue that as a passion.
Moreover
, youth can relax with those arts as all other subjects are heavy.
For instance
, a study conducted in Hong Kong revealed that
art
classes motivated the youth to attend schools regularly. On the contrasting side,
people
who
held
Wrong verb form
hold
show examples
another viewpoint say that making
art
subject
as mandatory at schools is a waste of time because there are other subjects in demand now. They believe that the present world is moving fast and there are many new things to learn.
Moreover
, they are suggesting other subjects related to technology
such
as computer science, digital innovations and many more so that they can use that knowledge in future.
To conclude
, I would like to say that
art
subject
is important in many ways.
However
, it will depend upon the mindsets of
people
which view they are in favour of.
Submitted by janardhan.gangineni on

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task response
For the task achievement criterion, the response is somewhat unclear in presenting comprehensive ideas and lacks relevant specific examples to support the arguments.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, the essay shows a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the essay lacks detailed support for the main points, so it is recommended to provide more specific examples and details.
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