New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#technologies #children #time #trend

this

contemporary era, it is believed that technologies have

significant

Add an article

a significant

show examples

impact on the

children

*s free

time

. From my point of view, the technologies may help to develop

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

mind.

However

, considering the other side of the argument, smartphones and computers might be negative for

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

health. A negative aspect of leisure

time

that kids spend with smartphones can be obesity, which is

Correct article usage

a resalt

show examples

resalt

Correct your spelling

result

show examples

hypodynamia

Correct your spelling

hyperdynamic

. Nowadays, a lot of youngsters prefer to spend their

time

playing computer games or

chating

Correct your spelling

chatting

with friends,

instead

of visiting

gym

Add an article

the gym

a gym

show examples

or walking around.

Moreover

, It is known that in

today*s

Correct your spelling

today's

world the obesity rates among kids rise

dramatucly

Correct your spelling

dramatically

in the USA.

For instance

every

Replace the word

everyone

show examples

one

from

Change preposition

show examples

five teenagers have

overwight

Correct your spelling

overweight

One

of the

reason

Change to a plural noun

reasons

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

it is a low level of activity. Despite

these downside

Change the determiner

this downside

these downsides

show examples

, a believe that a positive aspect of the new ways to spend free

time

is improved

knowledges

Change the wording

knowledge

pieces of knowledge

bits of knowledge

show examples

about a variety of subjects.

Thus

, the gadgets that

children

use in their free

time

might be good tools to learn new skills and

importan

Correct your spelling

important

information. Obviously, many people use smartphones to read books,

while

others like watching

videous

Correct your spelling

videos

about

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

nature.

For example

, Youtube

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is a website where

every

Replace the word

everyone

show examples

one

may post various

videous

Correct your spelling

videos

, the most famous

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

platform where

every

Replace the word

everyone

show examples

one

can learn a lot of skills for free. The advantage of spending leisure

time

with gadgets far overweight the disadvantage. I think that new technologies can bring a lot of positive things to developing

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

children

use

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

properly.

Submitted by engroutine on Fri Apr 28 2023

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers- based on technology. How do you think it will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computers?

In some cities of the world, cars are replacing bicycles. However, in some cities, bicycle are replacing cars. What are the reason for this for these developments? In your opinion, which one is better?

In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents but in other cases, people choose their own marriage partners discuss and give your own opinion.