New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#technologies #children #time #trend

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

this

Linking Words

contemporary era, it is believed that technologies have

significant

Add an article

a significant

show examples

impact on the

children

Use synonyms

*s free

time

Use synonyms

. From my point of view, the technologies may help to develop

Use synonyms

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

mind.

However

Linking Words

, considering the other side of the argument, smartphones and computers might be negative for

Use synonyms

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

health. A negative aspect of leisure

time

Use synonyms

that kids spend with smartphones can be obesity, which is

Correct article usage

a resalt

show examples

resalt

Correct your spelling

result

show examples

hypodynamia

Correct your spelling

hyperdynamic

. Nowadays, a lot of youngsters prefer to spend their

time

Use synonyms

playing computer games or

chating

Correct your spelling

chatting

with friends,

instead

Linking Words

of visiting

gym

Add an article

the gym

a gym

show examples

or walking around.

Moreover

Linking Words

, It is known that in

today*s

Correct your spelling

today's

world the obesity rates among kids rise

dramatucly

Correct your spelling

dramatically

in the USA.

For instance

Linking Words

every

Replace the word

everyone

show examples

one

Use synonyms

from

Change preposition

show examples

five teenagers have

overwight

Correct your spelling

overweight

One

Use synonyms

of the

reason

Change to a plural noun

reasons

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

it is a low level of activity. Despite

these downside

Change the determiner

this downside

these downsides

show examples

, a believe that a positive aspect of the new ways to spend free

time

Use synonyms

is improved

knowledges

Change the wording

knowledge

pieces of knowledge

bits of knowledge

show examples

about a variety of subjects.

Thus

Linking Words

, the gadgets that

children

Use synonyms

use in their free

time

Use synonyms

might be good tools to learn new skills and

importan

Correct your spelling

important

information. Obviously, many people use smartphones to read books,

while

Linking Words

others like watching

videous

Correct your spelling

videos

about

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

nature.

For example

Linking Words

, Youtube

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is a website where

every

Replace the word

everyone

show examples

one

Use synonyms

may post various

videous

Correct your spelling

videos

, the most famous

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

platform where

every

Replace the word

everyone

show examples

one

Use synonyms

can learn a lot of skills for free. The advantage of spending leisure

time

Use synonyms

with gadgets far overweight the disadvantage. I think that new technologies can bring a lot of positive things to developing

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

children

Use synonyms

use

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

properly.

Submitted by engroutine on Fri Apr 28 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Completing university is thought be syme to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and dveloping soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
There is no denying the fact that getting a job has become more difficult ecpecialy after COVID-19. While it is a commonly held belief that getting bacholer degree is essitial for finding a good joob, there is also an argment that gitting experience and improving soft skills is more crucial. This essay will analyze this topic from both points of view and express my opinion.
5.5
band
Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think they are a positive or negative development?
Recently, an increasing number of countries have decided to introduce laws to limit working hours for those employees. This decision can be illustrated by many reasons, such as the balance between work and life, as well as the health and productivity of employees. Though that issue has both advantages and drawbacks, it is clear that the advantages outweigh disadvantages.
7
band
People remember special gifts or presents that they have received. Why or why not? Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
The gesture of giving gifts is one of the great ways of making someone feel special and valued. This tradition has been alive in every society and community for ages. A gift has a unique importance, no matter how small or big it is. People receive a special gift, and remember it for a lifetime, primarily because it has made them feel extremely happy and cherished. I totally agree.
5.5
band
To learn effectively, children need to eat a healthy meal at school. How true is this statement? Whose responsibility is it to provide food for school children?
Healthy food is important for many children to learn more effectively. It should be provided by the government as a new program. I agree with the statement and will discuss step by step the program of healthy meat at school.
4.5
band
An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation?
Nowadays more and more professionals that play a key role in the social stability and development, including in the spheres of education and medicine prefer to find a job in more developed countries that provide more opportunities. Evidently, it creates a deficiency and lack of professional help in the above-mentioned spheres. This essay will address the problems such situation causes and conceivable solutions to redress it.

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Completing university is thought be syme to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and dveloping soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think they are a positive or negative development?

People remember special gifts or presents that they have received. Why or why not? Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

To learn effectively, children need to eat a healthy meal at school. How true is this statement? Whose responsibility is it to provide food for school children?

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation?