Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures

#people #music #cultures

Nowaday

Correct your spelling

Nowadays

show examples

, with the development of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technology,

people

have more and more

accesses

Fix the agreement mistake

access

show examples

to many

music

Change to a plural noun

musics

show examples

. Some

people

believe that

music

is beneficial to make

people

from various cultures and ages together. In my eyes, I totally

agree

Add the preposition

onagree

toagree

withagree

show examples

this

outlook.

Firstly

, it has been argued why I think

music

brings

people

get-together.

Although

the negative aspect of

music

must be taken into account, I still think

music

has in many ways enriched

people

's lives.

For example

, a well-known singer, Lucy Blair said"

People

are different because of different cultures and ages.

However

, the passion

about

Change preposition

for

show examples

the

music

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

, which

hence

brings

people

together

due to

this

common interest." It is

thus

clear

Replace the word

clearly

show examples

shown that

music

plays

Change the article

show examples

vital role in improving the interpersonal relationship of different

people

Moreover

, another reason

should

Correct pronoun usage

that should

show examples

be considered is the financial reason. As for as society is concerned, the ultimate aim of society is to make

people

can enjoy the good thing at an affordable price.

For instance

, a recent article published in Nelosn Magazine revealed that it is cheap and even free to listen to a song.

Therefore

, various

people

can easily

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

make a good friend with the person who

love

Change the verb form

loves

show examples

the same

music

style. Undoubtedly, it is a clear indication that

music

brings

people

together.

To sum up

, I reckon

music

is beneficial to make

people

together. In order to make

this

world more harmonious, the government and

people

should make a concerted effort to find a solution.

Submitted by 721351736 on Sat Apr 29 2023

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

246 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures

Your opinion

Some people think that it is better to other countries for greater work and life opportunities. Others argue that it is best to stay in their home country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Although parents are responsible for raising a child, outside influence plays a key role in their development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

it is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents , for instance for sport or music and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sport person or musician. Discuss both these views and give opinion.

The use of personal cars has increased more than ever before but this use of cars causes many problems. What are those problems? To reduce these problems, should we discourage people to use cars? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.