The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is argued that enhancing human
quality
of life should be the primary objective of scientific
development
. I strongly agree with
this
statement, as many innovations are designed to fulfil individuals' needs. In recent years, technological
development
has contributed to improving the
quality
of human lives. From changing lifestyles more effectively and efficiently to improving the country's economy through digital business activities.
For instance
, e-commerce in Indonesia has experienced significant growth after adopting technology to provide their systems and help them expand their markets.
In addition
, it
also
has an impact on the
quality
of the economy, not only for themselves but
also
for those around them, as even those who live in rural areas can get a chance to open a business through e-commerce.
Furthermore
, the research and
development
field has
also
presented various innovations in the educational system. The world is growing faster;
therefore
, students should learn more skills to improve their lives.
On the other hand
, educators are responsible for improving the
quality
of the curriculum through the analysis
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
of data regarding the student's needs in the future. Finland,
for example
, has applied student learning assessments from various qualitative methods and soft skills
development
. The result is a success in improving the mindset,
quality
Correct word choice
and quality
show examples
of learning, and influencing the
quality
of developed countries. In conclusion, science should be proven by how an individual's life can be better. Technology and R&D areas are the ones in science that are facilitated and become a bridge for humans to change their
quality
of life.
Therefore
, any knowledge and skill should be used to deliver long-term benefits.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
You have addressed the task prompt well, providing a clear stance and supporting it with relevant examples. However, ensure that your examples are not repetitive, and always aim for varied examples for stronger impact.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure and is easy to follow. However, use more varied linking words to enhance coherence and avoid repetition. For instance, replace 'In addition' with synonyms like 'Moreover' or 'Furthermore'.
task achievement
Your introduction provides a clear stance and sets the tone for the essay.
task achievement
You provided specific examples of e-commerce in Indonesia and the educational system in Finland, which strengthens your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The essay flows smoothly from one point to another, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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