The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from

 sugar cane.
The figure illustrates the process
how
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of how
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sugar
is produced from
sugar
canes
.
Overall
, it can be divided into three main stages, which are harvesting, purifying and drying. At
first,
it takes 12 to 18 months for
sugar
canes
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cane
show examples
to mature
in
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on
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the farm. After that, those matured
suger
Correct your spelling
sugar
canes
are able to be harvested neither manually
or
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nor
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mechanically.
At
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In
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the second stage of the process, those collected crops are sent into the
grind
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grinding
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machine to produce juice by crushing and squeezing them.
Then
the juice derived from
sugar
canes
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cane
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will be purified by the limestone filter. What's more, after
heated
Wrong verb form
heating
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in the evaporator, the purified juice becomes syrup that we need.
Then
we will use the centrifuge to separate
sugar
crystals from syrup to get rid of those unnecessary elements.
Finally
, with the drying and cooling procedures,
those
Correct determiner usage
the
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syrup becomes
sugar
in a container.
Submitted by james801004 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, canes with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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