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Writing Samples
Band 7

International travel is becoming cheaper and more countries are opening their doors to increase the number of tourists. Do the advantages of increasing tourism outweigh the disadvantages?

#travel #countries #doors #tourists #tourism
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There are various opinions on whether the merits of soaring
tourism
Use synonyms
 are beneficial or not. In
this
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 essay, I will give information on both views and explain why the advantages are more than the disadvantages. On the one hand, some
people
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 believe that the disadvantages of rising
tourism
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 overwhelmed the advantages since it causes not only plenty of crime but
also
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 ethnic conflict.
First,
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it can increase the number of crimes since many refugees have a tendency to make a crime. Take European
countries
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for example
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. A myriad of
people
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 came from Africa, South America and Southeast Asia brought a lot of crime recently
such
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 as bomb attacks, chemical terrors and so on.
Second,
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it can cause serious ethnic conflict between internal
people
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 and foreigners because they have totally different cultural backgrounds.
For instance
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, when I was a college student, I fought several times with my colleagues from Iran since I thought men and women have the same powers and obligations,
whereas
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 they had a negative mindset regarding women's rights.
On the other hand
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, I insist that the merits of increasing
tourism
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 are much bigger than the demerits because it allows
people
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 to have global mindsets easily and solve the economic gap problems between northern
countries
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 and southern
countries
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 of the earth.
First,
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individuals can become global-minded
people
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 easily because they can get in touch with foreigners frequently.
For instance
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, since nowadays there is a myriad of foreign
people
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 in Korea, I can have a conversation with them in English whenever I want.
Second,
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it can give a clue to solve problems in terms of financial gaps between
countries
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.
For example
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, North
countries
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 which are generally rich can provide a lot of occupations who came from southern
countries
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 to find jobs. In conclusion, rising of
tourism
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 can give a lot of benefits because it can change citizens into global
people
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 and contribute to solving economic difference problems between
countries
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. In
this
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 regard, I strongly believe that the advantages of
increasing
Replace the word
increased
show examples
tourism
Use synonyms
 outweigh the disadvantages
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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • GDP (Gross Domestic Product)
  • local businesses
  • job creation
  • cultural understanding
  • stereotypes
  • global connections
  • infrastructure
  • public transportation
  • environmental degradation
  • pollution
  • deforestation
  • wildlife habitats
  • commercialization
  • cultural identity
  • overcrowding
  • quality of life
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