Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation

Nowadays, individuals are spending a huge amount of time in their workplace and giving a lesser duration for relaxation. Whilst there are clearly some benefits to doing so, I personally believe that the drawbacks are more significant as they do not have adequate time for balancing between career and personal life. In fact, working excessive hours has some pros for people. First of all, being

workaholic

Correct article usage

a workaholic

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drives towards financial stability.

As a consequence

, performing job-related tasks longer than usual is not only responsible for earning money but

also

countable for having a luxurious lifestyle.

Furthermore

, working efficiency and progress are accelerated as part of high proficiency.

In particular

, the more hours you work, the more expertise you gain as a professional.

Contrastingly

Rephrase

In contrast

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, being occupied with a job more than normal period causes several cons

such

as loneliness, stress and lack of social activities. Since individuals have no time for their families and friends, they will lose their relationships and

connection

Fix the agreement mistake

connections

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gradually.

Consequently

, they will experience severe depression.

Besides

, working overtime can lead to burnout and exhaustion as well. The physical wellness of a person may confront which results

to reduce

Change preposition

in reduced

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motivation at the workplace.

For instance

, obesity and diabetes are two main problems among workaholics who have long-hour desk jobs. In a nutshell, more disadvantages are of greater significance than the advantages. Despite the fact of making more money and having high living standards, they will be exhausted and

lost

Wrong verb form

lose

show examples

all of their meaningful personal life. Given

this

situation, it is vital to have a work-life balance and to enjoy a proper hour for pastime with the beloved.

Submitted by shooneaindraykhin on Sun Apr 30 2023

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task response

The essay addresses the task prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of working long hours. However, the position taken in the introduction should be maintained throughout the essay, expressing a clear opinion.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, with well-defined introduction and conclusion. However, the body paragraphs could be more clearly structured to ensure a seamless flow of ideas. Transition words and phrases can be used more effectively to connect sentences and paragraphs.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

work-life balance
mental well-being
burnout
stress relief
productivity
economic growth
career progression
skill enhancement
quality time
financial security
leisure activities
physical health
personal relationships
stress-related illnesses

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Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Human activities have led negative effects on plant and animals all over the world. Some people think it is too late to do something about it. Others think there is still some time to take actions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleeo?

Some People prefer to spend their lives doing the same thing and avoiding changes. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

Some people think that testing on animals is necessary for discovering medicine that helps fight diseases, while others believe it is not necessary to test on animals for this reason. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.