Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation

Nowadays, individuals are spending a huge amount of time in their workplace and giving a lesser duration for relaxation. Whilst there are clearly some benefits to doing so, I personally believe that the drawbacks are more significant as they do not have adequate time for balancing between career and personal life. In fact, working excessive hours has some pros for people. First of all, being

workaholic

Correct article usage

a workaholic

show examples

drives towards financial stability.

As a consequence

, performing job-related tasks longer than usual is not only responsible for earning money but

also

countable for having a luxurious lifestyle.

Furthermore

, working efficiency and progress are accelerated as part of high proficiency.

In particular

, the more hours you work, the more expertise you gain as a professional.

Contrastingly

Rephrase

In contrast

show examples

, being occupied with a job more than normal period causes several cons

such

as loneliness, stress and lack of social activities. Since individuals have no time for their families and friends, they will lose their relationships and

connection

Fix the agreement mistake

connections

show examples

gradually.

Consequently

, they will experience severe depression.

Besides

, working overtime can lead to burnout and exhaustion as well. The physical wellness of a person may confront which results

to reduce

Change preposition

in reduced

show examples

motivation at the workplace.

For instance

, obesity and diabetes are two main problems among workaholics who have long-hour desk jobs. In a nutshell, more disadvantages are of greater significance than the advantages. Despite the fact of making more money and having high living standards, they will be exhausted and

lost

Wrong verb form

lose

show examples

all of their meaningful personal life. Given

this

situation, it is vital to have a work-life balance and to enjoy a proper hour for pastime with the beloved.

Submitted by shooneaindraykhin on Sun Apr 30 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

The essay addresses the task prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of working long hours. However, the position taken in the introduction should be maintained throughout the essay, expressing a clear opinion.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, with well-defined introduction and conclusion. However, the body paragraphs could be more clearly structured to ensure a seamless flow of ideas. Transition words and phrases can be used more effectively to connect sentences and paragraphs.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

work-life balance
mental well-being
burnout
stress relief
productivity
economic growth
career progression
skill enhancement
quality time
financial security
leisure activities
physical health
personal relationships
stress-related illnesses

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
In the modern world, people are living longer than ever before. This is due to a number of factors, such as advances in medicine, nutrition, and sanitation. While an aging population has some advantages, such as a larger pool of experienced workers, it also has some challenges, such as the need to provide more healthcare and social services.
6
band
in many countries today, if people want to find works, they have to move away from their friends and families. do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
In many lands nowadays, people have to go far from their parents and relationships to have better job opportunities. I think the benefits of this development totally outweigh the disadvantages. In this essay, I will prove my point of view.
6.5
band
The tendency of human beings to copy one another is shown in popularity of fashion in clothes and other consumer goods. Do you agree or disagree?
In the modern era, we are living in a society where copy-culture is being the most common. Some people assert that it has been shown mainly in fashion of clothes and as well as else consumer commodities. I totally agree with this idea and in this essay, will give relevant examples accordingly.
5.5
band
In many places, new homes are needed but the only space available for building them is in the country side. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this
Over the years, the population of humans is increasing so people require more homes to live. Some individuals believe that the government should use the countryside to build new houses while others are against this view and they defend keeping the countryside. I fully agree with group two for some reasons.
7
band
People in many countries have to spend more and more time away from their home. Why is this? What are the effects on people themselves and their families?
It is true that in many countries a feature of modern life is that people tend to spend more time away from home. While some reasons can be identified to explain this trend, the effects on individuals and their families must be considered as largely negative.

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

in many countries today, if people want to find works, they have to move away from their friends and families. do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

The tendency of human beings to copy one another is shown in popularity of fashion in clothes and other consumer goods. Do you agree or disagree?

In many places, new homes are needed but the only space available for building them is in the country side. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this

People in many countries have to spend more and more time away from their home. Why is this? What are the effects on people themselves and their families?