Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

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Nowadays, individuals are spending a huge amount of time in their workplace and giving a lesser duration for relaxation. Whilst there are clearly some benefits to doing so, I personally believe that the drawbacks are more significant as they do not have adequate time for balancing between career and personal life. In fact, working excessive hours has some pros for people. First of all, being
workaholic
Correct article usage
a workaholic
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drives towards financial stability.
As a consequence
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, performing job-related tasks longer than usual is not only responsible for earning money but
also
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countable for having a luxurious lifestyle.
Furthermore
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, working efficiency and progress are accelerated as part of high proficiency.
In particular
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, the more hours you work, the more expertise you gain as a professional.
Contrastingly
Rephrase
In contrast
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, being occupied with a job more than normal period causes several cons
such
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as loneliness, stress and lack of social activities. Since individuals have no time for their families and friends, they will lose their relationships and
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
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gradually.
Consequently
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, they will experience severe depression.
Besides
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, working overtime can lead to burnout and exhaustion as well. The physical wellness of a person may confront which results
to reduce
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in reduced
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motivation at the workplace.
For instance
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, obesity and diabetes are two main problems among workaholics who have long-hour desk jobs. In a nutshell, more disadvantages are of greater significance than the advantages. Despite the fact of making more money and having high living standards, they will be exhausted and
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
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all of their meaningful personal life. Given
this
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situation, it is vital to have a work-life balance and to enjoy a proper hour for pastime with the beloved.
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task response
The essay addresses the task prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of working long hours. However, the position taken in the introduction should be maintained throughout the essay, expressing a clear opinion.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, with well-defined introduction and conclusion. However, the body paragraphs could be more clearly structured to ensure a seamless flow of ideas. Transition words and phrases can be used more effectively to connect sentences and paragraphs.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
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