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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Even though living in metropolitan areas provides plenty of opportunities for each individual to thrive, many still argue that
this
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 is
also
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 a double-edged sword as it can result in negative effects on the community’s
health
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. In my opinion, I partially agree with
this
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 statement for the following reasons presented in
this
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 essay. On the one hand, it is understandable why many individuals hold the view that life in urban zones takes its toll on their citizens’ well-being.
To begin
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 with, it is the appeal of a modern and sufficient life in big cities that results in overcrowding.
This
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 leads to a higher chance of getting pollution problems related to air, water, noise, visual, … in urban zones compared to others.
Consequently
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, people are prone to suffer from several
health
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 issues caused by contaminated environments from frequent colds or flu, skin diseases, and respiratory diseases to more severe ones, cancer. Another factor that affects urban dwellers’ well-being is mental
health
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 issues like stress or depression. Many people, especially those from the low and middle class, admit that they often get stressed from their competitive and demanding job with long hours of work, consuming the time for severe traffic jams or feeling pressured and depressed to maintain a high living standard in big cities. In the longer term,
this
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 can cause detrimental impacts on both the mental and physical conditions of the residents.
On the other hand
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, apart from the obvious disadvantages mentioned above, I
also
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 believe that the community's
health
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 can benefit from living in megacities. Urban dwellers have better access to high-quality medical services, which is a big difficulty for residents living in small towns or undeveloped remote areas. Hospitals in cities with advanced medical equipment
as well as
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 experienced and competent doctors are available to give better treatment to patients.
Besides
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, people who live in urban areas can go to shopping malls or any entertainment facilities to relieve stress at the weekend.
This
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 is
also
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 an effective way to reduce the severe consequences of current mental issues which sometimes can not be treated by only medicine. In conclusion, I believe that living in a big metropolis can bring about negative effects on dwellers'
health
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, but it
also
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 provides beneficial healthcare in some ways.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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