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Writing Samples
Band 6

Advances in science and technology and other areas of society in the last 100 years have transformed the way we live as postponing the day we die. There is no better time to be alive than now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#advances #science #technology #areas #society #years #time
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Over the century, individuals have experienced rapid transformation, ranging from
science
 to social aspects. Given these developments, it has improved our living standards and extended our healthy years. Some agree that it is a perfect moment to be alive now,
however
, others disagree with
this
 claim.
This
 essay investigates both views and gives my conclusion. It is evident that the contemporary era is the best time to be alive
due to
 the significant improvements in
science
. , there is great success in the health
science
 of new drug research and development.
For instance
, the establishment of painkillers and vaccines for COVID-19 has reduced the number of people suffering from painful, illnesses or fatal diseases.
As a result
, people live longer than in the
last
 century.
On the other hand
, one of the social issues — the emotional problem seems to have worsened in recent decades.
According to
 mental surveys conducted by the World Health Organisation, there is a dramatic growth in the number of reported cases of suicide because of the enforcement of exam-oriented policy
as well as
 the unprecedented competitiveness in job markets.
Subsequently
, people are more likely unhappier than in the past. All in all, it is obvious that the transformation of
science
 has created a better environment for the human.
However
, the mental problem should be addressed as
this
 situation is deteriorating now and has negative impacts
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 mankind.
Submitted by kylewkh726 on

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task achievement
Ensure each paragraph has one clear main idea and fully develop it with relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs by using a wider range of cohesive devices.
task achievement
Clarify and expand upon your main points - avoid making broad statements without adequate explanation or specific examples.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Life expectancy
  • Medical advancements
  • Innovations
  • Quality of life
  • Transportation
  • Agricultural developments
  • Food security
  • Educational reforms
  • Cybersecurity
  • Privacy concerns
  • Automation
  • Environmental concerns
  • Climate change
  • International cooperation
  • Developed and developing countries
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