Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time on sports. Why is it? Is it a positive or negative development?

As a result
of human efforts, almost everything seems to have changed, from social values to how humans behave. Of course, not everyone is accepting of the changes that have occurred and
this
has led to disputes in certain circumstances. Yes, nothing is more controversial than offspring spending
time
playing those
games
instead
of enjoying outdoor
sports
.
That is
, the younger generation's behaviour has often surfaced as an issue of great consequence to our lives.
Thus
, there is a need to discuss the causes that led to these changes and the effects the changes have brought. The first main cause of the parents do not get enough
time
to take their child to visit playgrounds Like many aspects of life kids spend a lot of
time
playing computer
games
more than
sports
has been highly influenced by It is quite difficult to determine how long...........will continuously affect....offspring spending
time
playing those
games
instead
of enjoying outdoor
sports
.....but it is certain that the future of ...offspring spending
time
playing those
games
instead
of enjoying outdoor
sports
.....will be decided
according to
how we control
....
Replace the punctuation
...
show examples
Also
, we cannot ignore.........as another important element, as in many respects it is
also
strongly connected with...offspring spending
time
playing those
games
instead
of enjoying outdoor
sports
...
To find
Fix the infinitive
Find
show examples
a solution to
this
problem
, there are many aspects to consider, but I think what is the most important is that everyone works together.
Firstly
,........should be proactive in searching for solutions to problems and
also
should have a new attitude
that is
different to the way they tried to solve the
problem
in the past. Of course,
this
way may not always lead to a successful result, but as
time
progresses, it surely will in part contribute to resolving......
Besides
,........
also
can help to solve the
problem
of ...offspring spending
time
playing those
games
instead
of enjoying outdoor
sports
....as....... is directly and indirectly associated with the
problem
and I believe that those concerned are more likely to see the
problem
from a broader perspective and bring more realistic solutions to the table. In conclusion, has been caused by various factors. I strongly believe that the achievable ways to solve
this
problem
include parents needing to spend more
time
with their children and finding activities outdoor for them.
Submitted by maysustudio on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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    • Sentence 1 - Summary
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    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • allure
  • captivate
  • supervise
  • accessible
  • scarcity
  • safer alternative
  • peer pressure
  • educational tools
  • cognitive skills
  • implications
  • obesity
  • poor posture
  • hand-eye coordination
  • problem-solving abilities
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