Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

Some young people take a long

time

each day on their mobile phones.

This

is because there are many attractive

videos

on various platforms, but they can have adverse consequences because they can have less family

time

This

essay believes that negative development has more effects than positive. Youngsters love using mobile gadgets because streaming platforms have a variety of entertaining

videos

This

means that they have timeless opportunities to enjoy themselves, and they can spend endless hours consuming new

videos

without

breaking

Correct pronoun usage

thembreaking

show examples

For example

, program shows of a series of Marvel's heroes on Disney Plus, those design titles or thumbnails by timeline sequences to entice children to click on more

videos

As a result

, they spend more pass

time

on a screen

instead

of being outside doing

real life

Add a hyphen

real-life

show examples

activities,

such

as playing sports or socializing with friends. Despite the streaming services being highly enjoyable for children, the adverse effects should be considered because they have limited

time

with family and friends. Being around with father and mother teaches them many important things,

such

value

Fix the agreement mistake

values

show examples

, manners,

Correct word choice

and

show examples

how to treat others.

Similarly

time

sharing with friends encourages them to practice their social skills. If a child misses these opportunities they can grow up with impaired manners and probably adopt inappropriate

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

from influencers or content that they consumed

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

online rather than their parents.

For instance

, many planking

videos

of influencers on YouTube are easy to imitate and most likely to promote their violence. In conclusion,

videos

on smartphones may be irresistible to those under 18.

Nevertheless

, parents should restrict their screen

time

as much as possible to limit the harmful effects that are able to influence their upbringing.

Submitted by bhawatr on Sun Apr 30 2023

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Your opinion

Too much emphasis is given for education of the young. More government money should be spent for the free time activity of young people. To what extend, do you agree or disagree ?

In some large cities, people have to pay a fee when they drive their cars into the city centre, in a policy to reduce the number of cars in the city. Give reasons in support of and opposing this policy, and give your own opinion.

Social media platforms are gaining in popularity in recent years. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ? [241]

Some people think that reading is always a good habit , others feel it depends on which books a person is reading . Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

It is generally observed that almost all high level jobs are done by men. Does it mean that the government should encourage a certain percentage of these jobs to be reserved for women? Do you agree or disagree with this proposition.