IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. what are the reasons for this ? what can be done to solve the problem ?

It is true that over the past years, a number of wild
animals
Use synonyms
 have become extinct.
in
Fix capitalization
In
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this
Linking Words
 essay, I'll discuss the reasons why
this
Linking Words
 is happening and put forward several solutions to
this
Linking Words
 issue. One of the many reasons why a variety of species
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 become extinct is the careless hunt done by humans over the
last
Linking Words
 decades
, some
Punctuation problem
. Some
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 individuals think of it as a sport or a hobby and brag amongst each other who hunted the most;
therefore
Linking Words
, the number of wild
animals
Use synonyms
 killed every year has grown increasingly
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 has led to the extinction of some.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the destruction of natural habitats throughout the planet has been one of the main causes of
this
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 phenomenon
, big
Punctuation problem
. Big
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corporates
Replace the word
corporations
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 have been working there without any restrictions
Punctuation problem
. As
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as a result
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, natural habitats
such
Linking Words
 as rainforests have not been the same anymore
,
Punctuation problem
. For
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for example
Linking Words
, in the Amazon rainforest
American
Punctuation problem
, American
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 companies have destroyed dozens of trees. To address
this
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, there are a number of potential approaches
, governments
Punctuation problem
. Governments
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 should launch and fund new wildlife parks and put at their disposal the best staff and equipment to look after the
animals
Use synonyms
 that are
at
Change preposition
on
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 the
edge
Use the right word
verge
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 of
being extinct
Verb problem
extinction
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,
Punctuation problem
. For
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for instance
Linking Words
, in Congo, local councils have launched the construction of several parks.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, nations should introduce new laws regarding the protection of natural habitats to forbid for once and for all
any
Punctuation problem
, any
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 investment of big companies in those places,
in addition
Linking Words
, impose taxes on
corporates
Replace the word
corporations
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who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 have already invested in those areas and use that money in order to repair the damage that has
been already
Correct word order
already been
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 made.
To conclude
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,
As
Fix capitalization
as
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 I have discussed, there are various causes for the extinction of wild
animals
Use synonyms
, and steps need to be taken to tackle
this
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 problem.

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structure
Use a clear plan: start with a short intro, then give causes, then solutions, then a short end. Each paragraph should have one main idea.
coherence
Link ideas well. Use words like first, then, also, but, however, and finally. Try not to make one long sentence.
content
Give more clear facts or examples for each point. One good example in each part helps a lot.
grammar
Check tone and grammar. Use a formal style for an IELTS essay.
vocabulary
Be exact about ideas. Do not use facts without proof and avoid loose claims.
editing
Check spell and punctuation. Capitalize the first word of each sentence.
structure
The plan is clear: you say what you will talk about, then discuss cause and fix.
coherence
You use linking words to show flow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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