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Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

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While
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 some countries allow
University
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Students
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 to live from home for the period of their
study
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, others prefer these
students
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 should
study
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 away from their families. In my own opinion,I would say living away from loved ones during
University
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 studies
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 enormous importance which is more than its demerits. Admittedly, there is no doubt that staying away from family to
study
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 at high college has a few downturns including the risk to life by travelling from
time
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 to
time
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 to another city to gain a certificate.
For example
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,allowing these young kids to travel long distance
put
Wrong verb form
puts
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 their
life
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lives
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 in danger since accidents can occur at any
time
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.
Also
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, these teenagers can easily be convinced to join a bad company of friends in school since there is no supervision from the parents or guardians and what the lecturers can do is little.
Nonetheless
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,the benefits of academic
students
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 studying away from home can not be overemphasized.
Firstly
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, these teenagers tend to be more focused and serious about their studies when they stay away from home.
For instance
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, there won't be any form of distractions like watching movies, family outings,house chores etc, and they have enough
time
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 to learn. Apart from that, there has been a significant record of excellence attached to young people who
study
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 away from their comfort zone, a
study
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 by a lecturer at the
University
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 of South
Furthermore
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, they tend to learn the culture and norms of other people which is different from their own
for example
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 a Nigerian student who is studying in England who learn the culture and ways of the British which is totally different from he is own and
this
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 will help him in future engagements. In conclusion, the benefits of
University
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students
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 studying away from their loved ones are enormous and
thus
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 worth it these include increased concentration on reading, a high level of performance in class and cultural diversity.
Although
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,in spite of that there are a few demerits including risking life and lack of supervision.

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task response
Your essay provides a clear response to the question and presents both the advantages and disadvantages of living away from home during university studies. However, more depth and detail could be added to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a reasonable degree of coherence and cohesion. However, there are areas where the logical structure could be improved. Make sure that each paragraph flows naturally onto the next, and that your ideas are supported by appropriate linking devices and transitions.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
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