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Band 4.5

People continue to recommit crimes even after being penalized for their wrongdoings. Why do you think this happens? How can crime be stopped?

#people #recommit #crimes #wrongdoings #crime
There are controversial perspectives heating a debate over the fact that prisoners continue to commit crimes again after being punished for their wrong
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
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.
This
 essay is devoted to the underlying roots, followed by some equivalent resolutions to
this
 urgent problem. Without a shadow of a doubt, there are abundant reasons related to
this
 phenomenon. The perpetrator will not be recognized by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society after they have had criminal records.
Besides
, these people can not apply for stable jobs because many corporations or factories do not recruit them.
Hence
, they do not have
monthly
Correct article usage
a monthly
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 income
so as
Correct word choice
apply
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to make a living
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 leads to becoming more easily to
reoffend
Correct your spelling
re-offend
 violent acts.
For instance
, in Vietnam, crime rates of
misdemeanors
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misdemeanours
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 rise consistently
such
 as robbery, trespassing, and fraud, to name a few, so they have a tendency to recommit wrongdoings in order to cover their bills.
Therefore
, there are a wealth of justifications which make a great contribution to repeating crimes of wrong-doers.
While
 the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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recommitting crimes are widely acknowledged, there are some ways to stop offenders. Government should collaborate with companies to provide more job opportunities for people who commit a crime.
For example
, in jail, they need vocational training which allows inmates to prepare for life outside the prison. They can learn practical skills, namely computer programming, car maintenance and graphic design. After being released from prison, they are guaranteed jobs by big enterprises, so they have a stable salary.
Thus
, authorities and firms can solve
this
 grave problem. In conclusion, it is true that recidivism is one of the problems for our community, it can be solved by focusing on rehabilitation rather than punishment itself.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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