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Writing Samples /
Band 7

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004.

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004.
#expenditure #three #categories #age #groups #residents #uk
The graph indicates different spending habits based on
age
, including food and drink; restaurants and hotels; and entertainment, in the UK in 2004.
Overall
, young people spent most of their money on eating out and travelling,
while
 elderly people were in favour of purchasing food and drink
as well as
 enjoying entertainment. The amount of money spent on food and drink displayed and positive proportion with
age
, which accounted for 20% of spending in the
age
 groups over 76
years
 old, compared to 5% of those
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
under 30
years
 old. On top of that, the figures regarding entertainment displayed an upward trend among participants who were younger than 75
years
 old, at more than 20% as the highest in the
age
 group between 61 to 75
years
 old.
On the other hand
, spending on restaurants and hotels took up the largest proportion
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 young individuals, especially those who were under 30
years
 old, they invested nearly 15% in
such
 perspectives.
Submitted by unapoya0916 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "displayed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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