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Band 4.5

Reading books keeps a person’s mind active, whereas watching films and television is passive and does not require a person to use their imagination. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#books #person’s #mind #films #television #person #imagination
It is undeniable that many people believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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making a habit of reading
books
 in their spare time will help their mind to be in active mode.
However
, watching movies and television can cause a
person
 to become lazy in their
life
. I strongly agree
to
Change preposition
with
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this
 notion and explain
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
further
 paragraphs with suitable examples. To commence with the reasons that why reading
books
 makes a
person
 to be active in
life
.
Firstly
,
acquring
Correct your spelling
acquiring
 a habit of reading
books
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
leisure time makes to get connected with the lines written by the
writter
Correct your spelling
writer
,
reader
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the reader
show examples
 tries to imagine the situation in
the
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apply
show examples
reality, thereby it improves the capacity.
Secondly
, it
also
 helps
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
 to think in a
board
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broad
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minded
Wrong verb form
mind
show examples
 and helps to know about the different cultures ,morals in stories, and
also
 improves communication skills.
For instance
, parents read the
story book
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storybook
show examples
 to their
offsprings
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offspring
show examples
 in order to create a good environment in
life
, they teach the lessons and morals in the
books
 to their children so that their kids move in a good path.
Therefore
, reading
books
 makes people to get more knowledge and
also
active
Correct article usage
an active
show examples
 mind.
On the other hand
, watching films and television may cause them more lazy in their
life
. The main
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
 involves movies and
shows
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show
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in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 TV
may
Correct pronoun usage
that may
show examples
lasts
Change the verb form
last
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 for more than one hour which means watching for
longer
Add an article
a longer
show examples
 time is not healthy and makes the
person
to
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apply
show examples
feel inactive. Seeing TV for
longer
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a longer
show examples
 duration may cause eye problems in all
the
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apply
show examples
age groups. To exemplify, in
this
 modern era many people are addicted to laptops,
mobiles
Correct word choice
and mobiles
show examples
 and they are least bother about
to improve
Change the verb form
improving
show examples
 their vocabulary to improve their communication skills.
However
 , reading
books
 helps to overcome these problems . In
conculsion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, I profoundly believe that the
forementioned
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aforementioned
show examples
 points are
justifing
Correct your spelling
justifying
justified
 that reading
books
 is one of the
prerequstie
Correct your spelling
prerequisite
prerequisites
 for the
overall
 development of children and
this
 must be acquired in their habits at the early stages so that they move in a good path in future,
whereas
 watching movies and TV causes various problems.
Submitted by p.bhavya.s605 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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