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Band 6.5

Some people believe that entertainers are more important than scientist in today’s world. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #entertainers #scientist #today’s #world
Nowadays,entertainers and
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
are
Correct article usage
a curcial
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curcial
Correct your spelling
crucial
part of everyone's
Life
 .many individuals reckon that entertainers rather than scientists in
Add an article
the moderne
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moderne
Correct your spelling
modern
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 world. I partially agree with the statement I would discuss in the following paragraphs.
To begin
 with ,in
contemporary
Correct article usage
the contemporary
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 era
Add a comma
,
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Entertainers are part of every individual's growth.Because in present days folk can follow a hectic schedule
as well as
 they are facing more stress and tensions .So, The population
watching
Wrong verb form
watches
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entertainment programs like comedy movies ,web series,songs and many more.
These kind
Change the determiner
This kind
These kinds
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 of activities helps to alleviate
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
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 depression and worries.
For instance
, IT sector workers are facing a plethora of work pressure and tensions so,
that
Change preposition
at that
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time
 the public watches entertainment programs like listening
comedy
Change preposition
to comedy
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 talk , and music.
Thus
,
that
Change preposition
at that
show examples
time
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 forget their tensions.
Furthermore
,the analyst more an essential part of
people
's
life
,the expert are
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an
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aid to the
persons
Change noun form
person's
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 quality of
life
.
For example
,
the
Change preposition
during the
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 in COVID pandemic
time
the
Correct article usage
apply
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most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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humans using the invention of mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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 because that
time
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
all shops and school, colleges are closed so, the only solution for
smartphone
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a smartphone
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 like smartphone helps to students
life
 online
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
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 started through mobile phone ,
then
 the
people
 purchasing grocery items via smartphone and paying bills through
mobile
Correct pronoun usage
their mobile
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 easily .The
scientists
Correct your spelling
Scientists
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are reduce
Change the verb form
are reduced
are reducing
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peoples
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the peoples
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work load
Correct your spelling
workload
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 and give
easy
Correct article usage
an easy
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 lifestyle
besides
 saving their
time
.if
people
 can use new technology they can get
better
Add an article
a better
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life
 .
To sum up
, physicists and artists are equally important to everyone's heart .The two factors help today peoples
healthy
Replace the word
health
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and quality of
activity
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the activity
show examples
.
Submitted by amilingeorge12345 on

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