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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays, many people are buying fewer new things and more second-hand goods. What are the possible reasons for this trend? Is this a positive or a negative development?

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The fact that a vast majority of individuals are now purchasing used items more and brand-new items less indeed has a positive impact on our society. Raising costs and awareness are major reasons behind
this
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 change in preference, and at the same time now there is less burden on the environment as well, as only fewer things need to be disposed of. Both the reasons and their merits are explained in a
further
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 essay. Several causes can be put forth to justify
this
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 new trend in buying goods. The predominant reason is inflation.
Due to
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 soaring prices of goods, many cannot afford to pay for the full tag price of the item, so
instead
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, they choose to buy an open box or a second-hand thing. A recent study published by the University of Toronto suggests that about 63% of residents are now buying items from an online marketplace rather than brand new from stores
due to
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 affordable prices.
Moreover
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, there are
also
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 countless other benefits of
this
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. The primary advantage is the less environmental impact. Because now people understand the environmental impact of buying new articles they have become vigilant when it comes to shopping. The Government of Canada recently published data where it indicated that the waste disposal of electronics has been reduced by more than 35%,
as a result
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 of citizen’s efforts to buy more second-hand stuff from the internet.
To conclude
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, humans are now changing their shopping habits to buy used goods
due to
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 rising costs
as well as
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 awareness, and
subsequently
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 putting less burden on the environment. That’s why
this
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 is a one step forward in a sustainable future.

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Task Achievement
While your essay presents clear reasons for the trend of buying second-hand goods, consider developing your main points with more details or examples for a stronger impact.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction provides a clear thesis statement and outlines the reasons well. However, the link between your ideas could be enhanced by using more cohesive devices to guide the reader throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
In some areas, such as the explanation of benefits, additional evidence or examples could strengthen your argument and increase clarity.
Task Achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the topic and presents a clear position throughout, which shows strong understanding and engagement with the question.
Task Achievement
The use of recent studies and statistics from credible sources, like the University of Toronto and Government of Canada, adds authority to your arguments and enhances persuasiveness.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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