Do you think businesses should hire employees who will spend their entire lives working for the company? Explain why you agree or disagree. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

These days, getting a loyal workforce has become a major controversial issue. Many individuals suggest that companies should hire workers, who are ready to spend their whole life for them. I completely agree with
this
notion as long-term
employees
have countless benefits to
employees
as well as
employers. I have sound reasons why the given statement is correct.
To begin
with,
a
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apply
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loyal manpower often has a wide range of promotional opportunities, only when they served a tremendous amount of years
to
Change preposition
in
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their respective organizations.
Along with
this
, they are more likely to get long-term
company
benefits
such
as wage increments, bonuses, and post-retirement plans.
Therefore
, it seems advantageous for an employee to stick with one firm for years,
instead
of moving.
For example
, a well-known multinational
company
Google offers protective care to their loyal
employees
. even, after their deaths it promises to provide full education and Healthcare to their families for 20 years.
Furthermore
, the recruitment of those Workforce, who agree to spend their entire life working for a
company
, cuts down the organization's hiring expenses to a great extent. Needless to say the selection of candidates is a cumbersome process which includes various costs like advertising, interviews, and many more.
Thus
, longer employment may allow companies to save money and utilize it for
employees
Change noun form
employees'
employee's
show examples
welfare. To cite an example,
according to
the report of John Smith, the CEO of Hyundai car motors, his
company
saved 1.5 billion in 2021, when they hired and promoted their workers within the
company
,
also
their employee retention rate went up slightly by 6.5%. In conclusion, a long-term workforce not only saves a lot of organization amount but
also
provides a sense of job security to the workers. Long-term employment is always a prudent approach that a firm can take to build up trust and a permanent solution for employee retention.
Submitted by rajwants.1997 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
You've done a great job addressing the prompt by clearly stating your position and supporting it with reasons and examples. However, try to strengthen your logical connections between points to enhance overall coherence.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea, possibly by including topic sentences that immediately signal what each paragraph will discuss.
Task Achievement
The essay includes relevant examples which make your argument stronger. Nevertheless, refine your grammar and vocabulary to ensure more precise and varied language use.
General Language Use
A few minor grammatical errors are present, such as 'who agree' instead of 'who agrees' and 'having served' instead of 'only when they served'. Proofread your work to catch these errors.
Task Achievement
You have provided specific and relevant examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your response.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion of your essay are clear and effectively frame your response.
Coherence & Cohesion
There is a logical structure to your essay, making it easy to follow your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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