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Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Advanced medical treatments are generally expensive.People's access to proper health care should not depend upon their level of income.All people have the right to access the best medicine available. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#treatments #people #access #health #care #level #income #right #medicine
I strongly agree with the opinion
stating
Wrong verb form
stated
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 above that everyone should be able to access qualified medication and other
health care
Correct your spelling
healthcare
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 services equally despite their level of income. In countries with social services like Britain and Singapore, they do provide national health care services where all local residents are registered at medical centres close to their houses. The government is responsible for arranging the budget to subsidise surgeon's costs and an adequate amount of medication expenses. With financial support from the states, it could help many people, especially those who bear monetary burdens to have access to advanced medical treatments and create an inclusive society for
low income
Add a hyphen
low-income
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 citizens to stay healthy and be treated when they are sick.
Nevertheless
,
this
 is not a generic problem because most of the methods of treatment and drugs come from private companies.
Thus
, the government is responsible for negotiating and dealing with those pharmaceutical companies by taking charge of the pricing so that the amount that sick persons have to pay by themselves is
in
Change preposition
of
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 good
qualities
Fix the agreement mistake
quality
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 and affordable to their earnings.
Submitted by bhawatr on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Universal health coverage
  • Subsidies
  • Socioeconomic status
  • Disparity
  • Fundamental right
  • Resource allocation
  • Preventative care
  • Health equity
  • National health insurance
  • Research and development
  • Access to healthcare
  • Healthcare infrastructure
  • Cost-effective
  • Financial burden
  • Global health initiatives
What to do next:
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