IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where
#tourists #caribbean #island #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The graphic illustrates some information on
millions
Use synonyms
 of tourists visiting a specific Caribbean
Island
Use synonyms
 from 2010 to 2017.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is obvious that during the period there was the highest level in the total quantity of
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 to the
Island
Use synonyms
 and two lines (
visitors
Use synonyms
 staying on
cruise
Use synonyms
ships
Use synonyms
 and
Correct article usage
the
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
islands
show examples
island
Use synonyms
) have upwards and downwards over the period. The total proportion of
visitors
Use synonyms
 to the Caribbean
Island
Use synonyms
 experienced an increase (nearly 2.7
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
) between 2010 and 2015.
However
Linking Words
, the number of
visitors
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
standing on
Use synonyms
island
Add an article
the island
an island
show examples
 reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1.5
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 from 2011 to 2013. The line, which describes the statistic of the
visitors
Use synonyms
 staying on
cruise
Use synonyms
ships
Use synonyms
 experienced a growth (0.5
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
)
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
equal
as
Change preposition
to
show examples
 on total measure of tourists between 2010 and 2011. A sizeable jump occurred
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the race which shows the proportion of
visitors
Use synonyms
 (2
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
) who
staying
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
 on
cruise
Use synonyms
ships
Use synonyms
 from 2012 to 2017. Until 2011, the proportion which shows tourist of staying on
ships
Use synonyms
 undergone to remain the same. It stays
also
Linking Words
 stable, 1.5
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
visitors
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 staying on the Caribbean
Island
Use synonyms
 between 2013 and 2015.
As well as
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the total number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 is nearly 2.7
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 from 2015 to 2016.
As a result
Linking Words
, there are a slight fall between 2011 and 2012
Use synonyms
visitors
Change preposition
for visitors
show examples
 staying on
cruise
Use synonyms
ships
Use synonyms
 and from 2015 to 2016 it expected a marginal decrease for
vistors
Correct your spelling
visitors
 staying on
Island
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by sadiqlisara95 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words millions, island, visitors, cruise, ships with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuating trend
  • initially
  • significant increase
  • slight decline
  • momentary setback
  • steady increase
  • minor fluctuations
  • reaching a peak
  • moderate growth
  • notable growth
  • surge in popularity
  • seasonal or yearly factors
  • stagnation
  • growing appeal
  • visitors worldwide
What to do next:
Look at other essays: