IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#businesses #emphasise #products #development
What do you think about an efficient
promotion
way
 in advertising? It is essential to set a proper
method
 for surviving in today’s competitive society. Especially, in the field of
advertising
Add an article
the advertising
show examples
 industry, considering a solution to sell more
products
 is extremely crucial since a lot of entrepreneur challenge to beat rival
companies
 all the time. Among many ways, the most notable
way
 these days is highlighting
manufactures
Correct your spelling
manufacturers
show examples
 to new.
Then
, we explore
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why
this
 phenomenon happened and whether the mean to promote new
products
 is
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 change or negative effect. Begin with the reason why
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
plenty of
companies
 opt for stressing novel
products
 as a
promotion
 manner. In my opinion, many customers expect to use something they have
ever
Correct your spelling
never
show examples
 seen.
According to
this
 tendency, those who belong to the department of
promotion
 may try to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their needs.
Otherwise
, they might be fallen the percentage of
selling
Replace the word
sales
show examples
 and
taken
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
warning
Correct article usage
a warning
show examples
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 a company to require more hard work.
Addition
Change preposition
In addition
show examples
 to
this
 reason, I consider every firm
stick
Fix the infinitive
to stick
show examples
 with the same
way
 to show their own
products
. Going
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 different
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 is from time to time accompany
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 risk and brave.
Therefore
, I believe that they choose the
method
 to advertise fresh goods. Is
this
 phenomenon really bringing about a decent change? In fact, it is true that some
companies
 decided to use a
exaggerate
Replace the word
exaggerated
show examples
method
 for standing out new
products
.
However
, I feel that
companies
 to protect their consciences still remain and
then
 they have always put in the effect for selling their manufactures well
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
way
. If many entrepreneurs abandon
this
way
 to promote their
products
 as fresh as possible, they would be eliminated and customers would not feel any attractive points to their
products
.
Consequently
, it is beneficial for many
companies
 to publicize new
products
. Another positive result
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
way
 is that the technology of
promotion
 can develop
while
 doing
this
 because the people who work in
advertising
Correct article usage
the advertising
show examples
 team have to find out methods to reveal the
strengthen
Replace the word
strength
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their goods.
For instance
, it may be efficient that they could set a sense of
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
 differently. Specifically, it is better to use bright
color
Fix the agreement mistake
colors
show examples
 compared to black or Gray for stressing new
products
.
This
 would lead to the enhancement to control a variety of
color
Fix the agreement mistake
colors
show examples
 on the screen. Except for
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
, I expect to turn into comments
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 cerebritis, methods of videos, and sound effects in a positive
way
.
Therefore
, I believe that promoting their own
products
 to new is substantially contributed to
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
 of a wide range of technology. In conclusion, many firms tend to promote new
products
 since customers want
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fresh
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 and many
companies
 choose
this
way
 to show
products
 newly. Given
this
, I feel that
this
way
 is going
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a positive direction because we can reach more efforts of
companies
 by using the
method
 and
also
 getting technology enhancement in the field related to
promotion
.
Submitted by bb24946 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
What to do next:
Look at other essays: