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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows how frequently people in the usa ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main Features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows how frequently people in the usa ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main Features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The chart
bellow
Correct your spelling
below
show examples
 illustrates data about how many people ate junk
food
Use synonyms
 in the USA repeatedly, over a decade between 2000 and 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the chart is that folks were reluctant to consume convenience
food
Use synonyms
 each day or never tasted it at all
while
Linking Words
 the percentages of having
this
Linking Words
 kind of unhealthy meal once a
week
Use synonyms
 or twice monthly were higher than four other categories. Looking at the details, as regards the type of many times a
week
Use synonyms
 in 2003 around 17% had fast
food
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 the figure increased to 20% in 2006 but it experienced a decrease to 16 six years later.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, nearly 13 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of hungry people came to
dining
Add an article
the dining
a dining
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 room in the first year
whereas
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 amount went up to fifteen per
cent
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 exactly in 2006 and 2013. Another striking point is that the two highest
grouping
Change to a plural noun
groupings
show examples
 had almost
Correct article usage
a similiar
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similiar
Correct your spelling
similar
proportion
Fix the agreement mistake
proportions
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; in 2003 the first group who took fatty
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
 weekly started at 31% and it declined to 30 in
monthly
Correct article usage
the monthly
show examples
 classification. In 2006 around
one_third
Correct your spelling
one-third
 of
population
Add an article
the population
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 prefered one fatty dish during a
week
Use synonyms
 but interestingly
this
Linking Words
 rate fell to 25% in
monthly
Correct article usage
the monthly
show examples
 category. In 2013 around 27% had unhealthy
dish
Fix the agreement mistake
dishes
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 once a
week
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 it grew to
one_third
Correct your spelling
one-third
 in
monthly
Add an article
the monthly
a monthly
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 band. Pointedly, the lowest ratio
were
Change the verb form
was
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 among (
Everyday
Replace the word
every day
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) and (never) sets; 5 per
cent
Use synonyms
 refuses to eat junk
food
Use synonyms
 in 2003 and 4 per
cent
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 for both two other years and
also
Linking Words
 around 3% for each day consumer
as well as
Linking Words
 2% in both remained years.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words food, week, cent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fast food consumption
  • dining frequency
  • decade overview
  • trend analysis
  • to dine out
  • fluctuation
  • sharp increase
  • gradual decline
  • eating habits
  • statistical comparison
  • consuming pattern
  • noteworthy change
  • anomaly
  • periodic comparison
  • data interpretation
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