IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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These days, many companies want to monopolize their product to have the maximum profit.
Hence
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, innovations are necessary
such
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 as developing their policies, customer service, etc...Personally,
this
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 development is positive. First of all, the majority of the customers prefer to buy the latest
products
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. The companies have taken that advantage that the customer wants to show off that they have the on-trend
products
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 so they created new versions of their
products
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 every year.
Secondly
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, to make their
products
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 stand out from the crowd they make them unique not only attracting more buyers but
also
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 helping the businesses to rebrand their appearance in the customers' eyes.
For example
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, the Apple corporation has changed its logo many times.
As a result
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, they made their brand more recognition over time.
On the other hand
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, just look at Apple they make new
products
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 every year but their
products
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 are just similar to previous ones and the prices are always increasing, they just change their design after 3 years when their latest
products
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 are released. They just want to make more money with no effort to change the design. In conclusion, the innovations in each corporation are extremely important against other competitors to earn the maximum profits. I think
this
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 trend emphasizes that the company should continue so it can bring more positive things to the consumers and the companies need to stop their fallacy that they have nothing to change and think they can make money on their old ideas.

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coherence cohesion
Structure your essay more clearly by organizing ideas into distinct paragraphs. Consider having an introduction, two main body paragraphs (each with its central idea), and a conclusion.
task achievement
Strengthen your main points with more detailed examples and analysis. For instance, the example of Apple could be expanded to illustrate specific ways in which innovation impacts consumer perceptions and business outcomes.
task achievement
Expand on why the trend of emphasizing new features is a positive development, perhaps by discussing how it drives technological advancements or provides consumers with better choices.
task achievement
You have clearly identified the reasons why businesses might emphasize that their products are new, acknowledging both consumer preferences and marketing strategies.
coherence cohesion
Your essay concludes with a clear opinion, effectively summarizing your stance on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
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