Some people think that old people should not be forced by law to retire at a certain age if they wish to continue working To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #law #age

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The increase in life expectancy and better health conditions can lead

people

Use synonyms

to work longer than before.

However

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, conventional

labour

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acts of many countries have failed to keep up with these changes; so many

people

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still have to leave their jobs after a certain age. I strongly agree that the law should not determine when to retire if

people

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wish to work, for the law is impractical and outdated.

To begin

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with, the

labour

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act

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has failed to reflect recent trends in the modern

labour

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market. As is known to all, it has not changed at all for over 100 years,

whereas

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the quality of

people

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’s life has been getting better and their health condition has been greatly improved as well, so,

this

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mismatch is

such

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an unrealistic situation. Many old retired

people

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in Korea,

for example

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, unlike their parents’ generations, can still have the power and will to work over 60 years old because they can get sufficient nutrition and can sustain health stamina

due to

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the development of high-level medical advances. Considering these changes, the

labour

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act

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has to be revised to adapt to recent development. On top of that, there can be more to worry about with regard to mandatory retirement.

First,

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the decrease in the birth rate has caused a lack of workers and mandatory retirement will accelerate

this

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trend . Many corporations can not find proper employees.

Second,

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the tax burden can skyrocket

due to

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the deficit of working

people

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. The demand for welfare is so strong that the government can not reduce the tax ratio for young generations working in the field.

However

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, since old

people

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over 60 have to retire continuously

due to

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the conventional

labour

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act

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, the government have to rise the amount of tax on a person.

This

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circulation can be a vicious circle of the economy in every country.

To conclude

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, I agree that

people

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have to be free to choose when to retire because the traditional

labour

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act

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can not reflect modern trends and can cause more serious problems.

Submitted by ㅎ on Wed May 03 2023

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

340 words

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Some people think that old people should not be forced by law to retire at a certain age if they wish to continue working To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Schools should use films, computers and games to educate children instead of books. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The most important function of music is that it helps people reduce stress. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Topic: More and more people think there is no need for printed paper newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?