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Band 5

These days too many people maintained that helped by relying on doctors and medicines rather than by following healthy lifestyles. Do you agree or disagree.

#people #doctors #medicines #lifestyles
In today's era, it is true that higher positions are presently held by senior
people
 in many organizations.
While
 some
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
 consider that adult masses would demonstrate better leadership, it is my opinion that seniors have more merits over the young in leading a company.
To begin
 with, it is generally difficult for the young to compete with the old in terms of experience. Those who have gained experience can more effectively manage to lead the company than those who do not.
For example
, a survey done in Delhi and it resulted that nearly 75% of posts or jobs are occupied by senior
people
 and 25% are filled by younger individuals because every organization
Change the word
first
show examples
firstly
 see the experience of a candidate
while
 doing a selection. Another advantage of aged
people
 is that they are likely to receive more support from the
people
 in an organization. The senior
people
 are selected in past years and they are doing better performance
also
 can understand their colleagues better, Achieve more popularity, and have better relationships and coordination
while
 performing any task.
On the other hand
, younger members
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 will need more time to get professional in their work, making relations and coordination between employees in the business. In conclusion, I believe that posts should be given to senior members for certain reasons mentioned rather than the young.
Submitted by info.rrtrailblazers on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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