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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar; which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people
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It is
Correct pronoun usage
Is
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 university acknowledged that as the reason for profit, more industries produce more
sugar
Use synonyms
 production.
While
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 now, that aroused a heated debate about whether we should recommend raising the cost of sugary products. In my opinion of view, I'm afraid I entirely have to disagree with that. Admittedly, costly did limit
sugar
Use synonyms
 production, especially for low-income people. Notably,
sugar
Use synonyms
 as primary material goes through hundreds and thousands of households.
Although
Linking Words
sugar
Use synonyms
 can harm humans to some extent, as you know it can
also
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 boost their mood and appetite. As we know, the price is lower than other consumptions despite lifting the cost.
Therefore
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, utilizing rising prices seems not to eradicate the problem practically. So we may examine
this
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 issue from another angle like we can choose alternative ways to alleviate the influence on health.
Firstly
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, the government should dedicate more money and energy to the education of a healthy diet. To make things better, social media should fulfil public responsibility,
for example
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, by showing the advantage of low
sugar
Use synonyms
 in advertisements, documentaries, and even publicizing in public spaces.
Consequently
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, when we realize the disadvantage of more
sugar
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, we will enhance self-regulation to overcome the harm,
such
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 as exercising more and limiting
sugar
Use synonyms
 quality. Positive effects will attend all of these. In conclusion, it is not hard to draw an absolute determination to
this
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 issue; the problem of high levels of
sugar
Use synonyms
 products requires the joint effort of government, society, and ourselves.
Therefore
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, it is unreasonable rising sugary products expenditure.
Submitted by fuwei0316 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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