IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Young people today mostly learn by reading books or watching movies and TV shows, rather than personal experience. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, much thought-provoking content is published in books and shown in movies.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is assumed that many youngsters learn from written material and telecasted shows
instead
Linking Words
 of making their own experiences. I completely agree with the aforementioned statement, as a lot of information is already written and portrayed in films.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it can be seen that almost all types of topics are already covered by the authors and movie makers i.e. exploring the earth, recycling, mysteries, artificial intelligence, regional and cultural documentaries, biopics, space etc.
Therefore
Linking Words
, young
people
Use synonyms
 who are smart enough to explore anything without spending much time can easily approach the relevant content in order to get the required knowledge.
For instance
Linking Words
, one can now get to know anything about the Sahara Desert without being actually there, solely by reading a detailed article or watching a documentary.
In addition
Linking Words
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, in the past whenever
people
Use synonyms
 had to start a new task or activity, they used to go to the respective professional, so that they
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
 acquire that skill.
However
Linking Words
, in recent years, videos related to skills have been made by professionals and can be easily approached on the internet.
Moreover
Linking Words
, TV shows are
also
Linking Words
 produced where professionals teach skills like painting, cooking, gardening, and crafting.
Hence
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 learn any skill by not attending regular lessons, unlike in the past.
For example
Linking Words
, I learned to paint by watching a TV show about one of the famous artists of that time without attending any physical classes.
To conclude
Linking Words
, by considering the learning experiences of
people
Use synonyms
 through books and shows, I agree that now
people
Use synonyms
 learn by referring to the published content despite having personal experiences.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that all aspects of the task are covered in detail, including different perspectives and potential implications of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion could be improved by using a wider range of linking words and transitioning phrases to create more seamless connections between ideas and paragraphs.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: