IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Educating young people is naturally important. However, some think governments ought to invest more in education for adults in need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #think #governments #education #adults
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Education
Use synonyms
 is thought to be a crucial part of
children
Use synonyms
's development for many years. After all, it is the young generation that the future of a country depends on. When allocating money for
education
Use synonyms
, many governments mainly target the part of society younger than thirty years old. But I believe that adults from underrepresented backgrounds deserve similar levels of financial support for their
education
Use synonyms
. In a world where the population is divided into poor and rich, not every child possesses an opportunity to obtain a formal
education
Use synonyms
. Even when
education
Use synonyms
 is free and compulsory, some families still find ways to abstain their
children
Use synonyms
 from studies.
Such
Linking Words
children
Use synonyms
 grow up until adulthood either by accomplishing housework, or, more frequently, by working to support their families. They cannot be blamed for missing
education
Use synonyms
 opportunities in childhood, since circumstances would have forced them to engage in other activities more crucial for survival. The absence of a diploma allows them to occupy only manual positions, where they can only earn for living.
Thus
Linking Words
, even if the desire to
study
Use synonyms
 at the university level arises, adults from poor backgrounds do not have money to cover their tuition fees.
Therefore
Linking Words
, governments should encourage their initiative to
study
Use synonyms
 by either fully or partially covering their tuition fees. Some believe that older people lack the capacity and ability to
study
Use synonyms
 at a similar pace as
children
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, history knows numerous outstanding individuals, who, despite their old ages, continued to improve their skills and attain significant achievements.
For example
Linking Words
, Newton was over thirty when he discovered the theory of gravity, and Morgan Freeman reached the age of forty when he decided to become an actor. Many adults can demonstrate similar achievements if their desire to
study
Use synonyms
 would be backed up by governments.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I believe that countries should provide mature people with similar opportunities to pursue higher
education
Use synonyms
, since, like
children
Use synonyms
, they can
also
Linking Words
 bring significant contributions to a country.
Submitted by jaker.raimov on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: