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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The promoters of social media claim that they are connecting people and enabling people to share like never before. While critics claim that social media site often impinge upon one’s privacy. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some promoters of social
media
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 believe that they are helping people make connections and share stories.
While
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 the opposite side claims that social
media
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 often causes crucial problems,
such
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 as
privacy
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 issues. In today’s generation, social
media
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 has become a major platform for society to interact with each other.
For instance
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, foreign students who are miles away from their families can easily update their situation by using social
media
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.
Moreover
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, these platforms allow them to maintain emotional closeness despite physical distance. By doing so, they can share their daily activities or academic achievements online, providing reassurance to their loved ones
while
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also
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 receiving support.
However
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, despite the benefits it offers, social
media
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also
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 comes with several disadvantages,
such
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 as harming the user’s
privacy
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. In fact, since we live in a digital era,
privacy
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 is no longer something that can be fully protected.
For example
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, when we want to
use
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 certain websites, there are requirements
such
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 as an email address, phone number, or home address.
As a result
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,
such
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 information could violate personal
privacy
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, as proven by the large number of fraud and identity theft cases happening nowadays. In conclusion, the risk of using social
media
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 depends on how we
use
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 it.
Therefore
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, we need to make sure that we
use
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 these platforms wisely to prevent our data from being stolen.
Furthermore
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, simple things like not sharing too much personal information or checking
privacy
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 settings can make a big difference. If we
use
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 social
media
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 wisely, we can still stay connected and keep our data safe.

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content
Be clear about your view in the first paragraph and restate it at the end.
content
Give one strong example for each side and explain why it matters.
structure
Use simple connect words to show how ideas fit together, like first, next, but, also, so.
language
Use plain words from the common list and avoid hard terms.
content
Check facts about privacy and do not make broad claims that may be wrong.
content
The essay treats both sides and gives a view in the end.
content
There are good examples about students far from home and privacy talks.
structure
There are helpful linking words to move from one idea to the next.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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